Dec 21, 2006

It's kinda like eavesdropping, but not quite.

Mike Says
    Larry Says
        I DON"T KNOW!! I DON"T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER!!!
    Larry Says
        I DON"T KNOW WHO SHE THINKS I AM!!!
    Mike Says
        she must think you're Larry Bird or something
Jim Says
why is he shouting at you?
Mike Says
beats me
Mike Says
Imna see if I can get away with Larry Bird as a golfer
Jim Says
hhahha
Jim Says
I was wondering what that was all about.
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        come on, even I'm not that sports illiterate
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        and also, he had a video game named after him
Mike Says
    Mike Says
        yeah Larry Bird's Golden Tee
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        Larry Bird vs Michael Jordon 1 on 1, i think it was called
    Mike Says
        so hawt right now

Dec 20, 2006

Odd evening rituals

Mike says
I'll put it in my Jim Recommends section of Media Centre
Jim says
haha
Jim says
Once were Warriors will make you cry.
Mike says
oh good
Mike says
i need a good cry
Jim says
hahaha.
Mike says
*pulls rubber dick out of ass

Dec 14, 2006

The Enabler

Plik Bok says:
hey todd, can i search for a particular job no in perforce? I was looking for FIN-64
Mike says:
yes you can

Creative Writing

Sam says:
ok, i emailed the guy in tech giving her email address and asking if they have any way of checking this and if so what in they'd need from us
Sam says:
in=info
Mike says:
thanks
Sam says:
i'm after our confident "can't be us" it will be us
Mike says:
nice arrangement

Dec 13, 2006

boobies big steaming pile

Sam Says:
he's a real team player
Jim Says:
he sure is.
Sam Says:
he's going to piss off at some point and leave us with his pile of shit to deal with
Sam Says:
remember that weekend

A Man's House Is His Castle. Made Entirely of Cartridges...

Mike
drool bitches...
Mike
oopds
Jim
ok. drooling
Mike
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/greatest-video-game-collection-ever
Mike
this should keep Larry typing for at least 3 hours
Larry
PACKRAT MUCH!?
Larry
just because you CAN collect games that are a total of 4kb and displays in dazzling 3 colours, and has the replayability of, say, sticking both fists up your ass, laterally, doesn't mean yo ushould
Mike
nonono..ill try
Jim
and they're all obsolete with the release of Wii Sports.
Mike
hahha
Jim
wow. listen to him type.
Jim
this is going to be a doozy
Mike
when isnt it
Larry
and that boy, who the poster would like you to think is his son, is either 1) his nephew, who finds him so creepy that he's trying to run for the exit 2) a boy he has lured with promises of gummy bears and gumdrops or 3) a physical manifestation of his lonliness that is so real, so heart destroying, that the universe has conspired to make this boy out of thin air just so that resulting vacuum his
Larry
cry of loneliness makes doesn't cause the extinction of all life as we know it
Larry
also, you know you are typing alot when you hit the bloody MSN IM word limit
Mike
the basement exits were blocked long ago
Larry
he survives on leftover cheetos and the jerkied remains ofhis friends he invited to 'come over and check out these gamez' over five years ago

Dec 12, 2006

Children of the corn

Sam says:
So do you know of any good hotels in Tokyo that won't charge me
Mike says:
just act like you paid
Mike says:
they'll never think to ask
Sam says:
I was corned by kungfu
Mike says:
corned?
Mike says:
really
Sam says:
yes
Mike says:
that musta hurt
Sam says:
add an er in there somewhere
Sam says:
corneder
Mike says:
did he at least lube you up?

and now for something completely different.

according to USA Today, the 5th most requested form of plastic surgery for men is breast reduction.

Dec 11, 2006

Clarification

Mike says:
just to clarify..the rental car ppl are amped
Mike says:
not boobs and firends
Mike says:
i was a little confused after re-reading that on the blog
Nancy says:
hahah
Nancy says:
thanks for the clarification

Boobery

Nancy says:
manboobs just said that he and a couple partners are starting a company and they will soon be making a "trickle of revenue" and they will quit their jobs
Nancy says:
hes telling this to someone that hes leasing a car from
Mike says:
HAWT
Mike says:
hahahahha
Mike says:
boy i bet they are fucking AMPED
Nancy says:
hahah

Larry gets emotional

Nancy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b1cyNigny8
Larry
damn, even i don't even know those acronyms
Larry
IN THE DARK!?!?!
Larry
OH SHIIIT!
Larry
yeah, it's called www.acronymfinder.com you fscking nubs
jesus
Nancy
haha
Larry
lol is NOT FSCKING LEET SPEAK
man, i want to punch these reporters
DANGEROUS DIALECT?!?!
feck, really?
Larry
cyber dettective/!
Larry
ogm
Larry
HAhahAhAhAhAHAhAH
Larry
computer language?!
Larry
you can't program in it you eeeediot
Larry
but you just KNOW that the 'cyber detective' is a senior guild officer in his clan
Nancy
haha
Larry
if you DON"T know leetspeak,it probably means you are NOT a virgin
Larry
mainstream media and tech just makes me violent
Larry
ok, fine, blogging this

Humour, with a capital U.

Larry
hey, do you know why science students and engineering students are so enamoured with british comedy shows?
Sam
no i don't, why are science students and engineering students are so enamoured with british comedy shows?
Sam
it's a joke, right
Larry
oh god. no, it's not a joke
i'm genuinely curious.
it's either these folks (of which I include myself) are secretly british
Sam
because they are smart
Larry
or the brits are secretly a nation of hardcore geeks
nono, me being in the group automatically trumps your 'smart' theory
Sam
seriously though it is interesting
Larry
hey, did you know the python language was named after monty python?
Sam
really?
Larry
was that an unknown fact to you, Oh Conqueror, Oh Colonist?
Larry
yuppers, weird eh?
Sam
very weird
Sam
but totally understandable
Larry
i wonder, do you practice naval maneuvers at the high school level and such? secretly hoping for a return to the reliance of naval hedgemony?i think geeks just understand absurdist humour better
or are just not as self conscious to laugh at it
i think i read about that somewhere in the holy book of armaments
Sam
if you really were secretly a brit you would know the answer to that
or maybe it's a double bluff
Larry
if i was secretly a brit i'd remain a stiff upper lip while you tried to torutre the truth out of me
Sam
you secret brits are a cunning lot
Larry
then when you threatened my manberries, i'd say "do you expect me to talk?" the answer to which, is so self explanatory, I won't insult you by telling you.
Larry
hey! us secret brits are just as good as you out in the open brits!
Larry
oh snap, blew my cover

The British Are Comi-- Here. The British are Here!

Sam
bbc.co link/
Sam
some 600,000 brits in canada
Larry
OH SHIT!!
they could be.. ANYWHERE!!
hell, like, Jim could be one, or Mike!
Sam
bet nearly every quote ends with"but i do miss the british sense of humour"
Larry
ahahhAhAH
Larry
yes, yes it probably does
Sam
hmm more females than males come to canada
see the unemployment stats
Larry
are you telling me you're transgendered?
Sam
i entered as a female
Larry
so if you are locally born, you are more likely to be unemployed?
Larry
haha, but came out a man
Sam
yep
Sam
suckers
Sam
that makes sense though
Larry
ok.. correct me if i'm wrong, but if you're a 'locally born' UKer.. doesn't htat just make you a Canadian with parents from the UK?
Larry
UK keeps a tight grip on her citizens
Sam
haha
Larry
Another bbc link
Larry
egad!
Sam
wow 70,000
Larry
that's... a whole lot
Sam
we sure are generous at letting you in
Larry
yes you are. colonial guilt and all that
and also because an alarming number of us actually watch UK shows
and not the good ones either
Coronation Street. i mean, really.
Sam
It's a prerequisite
Sam
have you seen corrie, check
Larry
have you seen at least one episode of black adder?
can you identify what number is RIGHT OUT when using the holy hand grenade?
Larry
when i say the term "red dwarf" what's the first expletive that comes to mind?
Sam
hahaha
some pretty interesting stats
Sam
1982 we finally handed over all power to canada
what did we retain until then?
Larry
holy crap
i think, knowing you brits, you retained ALL power
youjust gave us the illusion we were running under our own steam
Sam
i think secretly we still do
Larry
hahah
Larry
it would explain so much
Larry
how a brit, excuse me, ex-brit, like yourself, has infiltrated into the highest echelons of the technical community in charge of one of the major canadian corporations, for one
Larry
how phil got a job, for two
Sam
ahahaha

Silver painted fork

Sam
So the fork has this paint
Larry
yeah.. is it actually silver?
Larry
or just silver tinted? or would htat be called silver hued?
Sam
i think its just metallic
Larry
wait, it might be chrome
Larry
is chrome still metallic?
Larry
maybe if you had, like , it in java
Sam
chrome plated
Larry
Metllaic would be the class,and Chrome woul be a subclass?
Larry
oh.. plated. I thought we were talking about paint.
Mike
you SHOUDL be able to repaint the fork
Mike
but I dont want to pay for the paint
Larry
well, yes. theoretically
Mike
and besides, paint smells funny
Mike
and it would be chrome underneath
Sam
maybe there is a place you can go to get forks repainted and they do not charge you for the fork repainting
Larry
it only smells funny if you get the cheap fork paint
Mike
so theres that
Mike
(oh blog this
Mike
)
Sam
yeah there's that
Larry
oh. they wouldnt' charge? so it would be for free?
Larry
i wonder if The Oracle knows about that?
Sam
not really free, just no charge
Mike
I think forks are like spoons
Larry
riight.
Larry
i like sporks
Mike
but you dont have a knife
Sam
some places you can get a fork that is like a spoon
Mike
and again why paint a knife when a fork can be metallic
Sam
i like those places
Larry
omg, it's decemeber 11th, in the old days, i'd be coming in on my 2nd week of vacation
Larry
"set it. AND FORGET IT!"
Larry
i like those places too.
Sam
wait don't both go
Sam
i'm left between the Forkers and the Theoretics
Mike
hahha
Mike
L. Ron Blatt: Theoretics
Larry
hahah
Larry
Forking "Exactly the opposite of Spooning"
Mike
The fork was on the table, right?
Mike
I think the fork was on the table
Mike
right?
Mike
you know, the fork?
Mike
was the fork on the table?
Larry
the fork table?
Mike
Im not going to tell you
Larry
why not?
Sam
so it was a table fork?
Larry
i actually do know
Larry
i'm just not telling you
Mike
EXACTLY
Sam
oh i've been thinking of a garden fork
Mike
oh god...i never thought Id EVER want to hear Serenes voice
Sam
no it gets worse now
Sam
so before you could just "turn" it
Mike
omg
Mike
1 bulb is out
Mike
and Drac's all about the change in contrast
Larry
shit can we talk about something else? my testicles are feeling squeezed by this convo
Larry
like Dabid is givnig me a traditional greeting, or something
Sam
i don't use my bulb take my fucking bulb and shut the fuck up
Sam
no sorry that was me Larry
Mike
ahaha
Mike
ok blog this i need to close the woindow

say what?

Plik Bok says:
do we have problems this morning about the oracle?

Dec 8, 2006

f-bomb

Jim Says:
no wonder The Supreme Commander loves prod support...
Jim Says:
the whole team volunteers for xmas duty.
Jim Says:
we should tell her that if we have to come in we'll make sure we are wearing suits.
Larry Says:
hahaha
Larry Says:
totally
Larry Says:
we'll also work on that mission statement and do some brainstorming sessions on how to increase shareholder confidence
Sam Says:
and we promise next year we'll win that quiz
Jim Says:
we'll fucking win that quiz
Larry Says:
hahahahaHAHAH
Sam Says:
-fucking
Larry Says:
i'm sorry, do we have Nancy on our team now?
Larry Says:
that was gold
Sam Says:
too right

Dec 6, 2006

Alls fair in MSN, beer and blogs

Mike says:
how was the partay?
Jim says:
hawt
Jim says:
but it missed u
Jim says:
biggerboss gave the suits a shout out
Jim says:
he was all over them
Jim says:
had bigboss, the missus and biggerboss
Jim says:
you fuckin cunt
Jim says:
webe wii'in
Jim says:
and the sex with Nancy is hawt
Jim says:
ha ha
Jim says:
awkward
Jim says:
TinTin...
Jim says:
Nancy..
Jim says:
say no more.
Mike says:
hahah

The fustomer is awlays rihght.

Mike says:
fucmking self righteous mac users
Mike says:
ARRRRGRHHRGHHHH
Jim says:
haha.
Jim says:
what's the latest?
Mike says:
"Sorry, but this attachment stuff in the FSC doesnt work at all for me using osx and safari. You should have a list of which browsers you support
Mike says:
:"
Mike says:
I believe we support the FUCK OFF CUNT browser
Mike says:
oh that just got bolgged fidnt it?

english as a second (?) language

Yeow says:
What's wrong with you?

moderation

Nancy says:
from an email about a lunch "This is pay as you go, but I'd like to cover the drinks (Nancy, I'm expecting you to exercise moderation). "
Larry says:
niiice
Jim says:
pwnd
Larry says:
uh, why doesn't he just cover the lunch
it'd be cheaper
Nancy says:
haha
Mike says:
haha
Nancy says:
: Sam says:
cheaper than a moderated damn
Larry says:
did he specify Real Moderation? or nancy's interpretaion of moderation?
Sam says:
nancy even
Nancy says:
i get that a lot sam
Larry says:
like nancy's interpretation of 'nerd'
Mike says:
hahaha
Larry says:
note, WoW players apparently do no apply
Mike says:
ask him for money to keep your morning buzz going

the rising cost of suitage

Nancy says:
haha those pics are sweet.
Mike says:
werd
Nancy says:
jim looks like a boss. mikes the slimy sales guy. larry in the nerdy tech guy and sam is the company drunk.
Mike says:
hahaha..trying to sit up straight
Jim says:
no way - why can't I be the company drunk?
Mike says:
the xmas tie
means you care
Jim says:
aw fuck
Nancy says:
not to mention the very serious look on your face

From: some guy
Subject: error - url here
Body: srfsd

Sam says:
jim looks mean
he's a boss you don't cross
Jim says:
wtf do you mean by that?
Mike says:
solid email
Nancy says:
srfsd? wtf
Mike says:
Larry..acronym please...
Jim says:
Larry?
hehe
Nancy says:
haha
Larry says:
huh!?
wtf are you guys talking about
acronmy for what?
Sam says:
suit Larry doesn't do that
Mike says:
suit Larry sucks it
Jim says:
I want the real Larry back
Larry says:
suit Larry needs to timetable a meeting to get a steering roundtable committee to redbook some proactive and win win scenarios in which all shareholders will feel good about
Nancy says:
haha
Larry says:
not only feel good about, but facilitate more success in our coming quarter in which driving global competition will enable us, as a company, and as a corporate family to overcome and strive to greater heights through the challenges of the Information Age.
so you change agents and outside the box breakers, you trend gurus and design mavens, we'll need you all to be firing on all cylinders to get this company back to the black*
*note : by taking a 15% pay decrease
wtf are we talking about?
Jim says:
srfsd
what does it stand for?
Mike says:
haha
Larry says:
what's in relation to?
Jim says:
unknown
Mike says:
your suit
Larry says:
well, fuck, give me some sort of refeerence ponit
Sam says:
it can relate to anything
Larry says:
Synthetic Reformed Fibers Sequenced for Display
obviously, it practicaly spells itself
Jim says:
Synthetic?
Mike says:
Sexy
Jim says:
you didn't go to Moore's, did you?
Larry says:
hey, only the best for me
Sam says:
the old Larry would have had some reference to gay porn in there
Nancy says:
hahah
Mike says:
yeah gay porn!
Larry says:
moore's what sort of fucking high flying coke snorting hooker strangling martini-lunch having wall street type do you take me for
fuck
this was taken off the first drunk who couldn't fight me off and didn't smell too much of death
fucking hoity toity jim. jeebus. buying suits and such
Jim says:
I didn't say anything about buying.
Larry says:
oh, stealing. well. they can spot me from a mile off
Sam says:
Larry we can tell an expensive suit when we see one
and yours is not one
Larry says:
darn right!
if it costs more than a middle level 450watt powersupply, someone is PAYING TOO MUCH

suit sweat and side-jobs

Jim says:
wii lunch?
Larry says:
oh alright
Mike says:
mmmm sweaty
Jim says:
werd
Sam says:
absolutely
Mike says:
should I bring some games?
Larry says:
a suit isnt a suit unless it's drenched in sweat, even if it isn't your own
Jim says:
haha.
Larry says:
er. scratch that last part
Jim says:
I got sports.
Mike says:
werd
Jim says:
own suit or own sweat?
Mike says:
ill bring controllers
Nancy says:
i should be done responding to these 60 emails by then
Larry says:
60 emails?
are you doing some sort of.. side business?
Nancy says:
haha
Mike says:
more of a back business than side
Nancy says:
hahaha
Jim says:
hahaha
Nancy says:
ya and thats only about 6 emails

Dec 4, 2006

Queue

Mike
mmmBob Sauve
Mike
(Jim might get that..)
Mike
if he was at all paying attn
Jim
crap. now I gotta read the last 20 lines.
Larry
that'll learn you to do work while we fantasize about bevans
Jim
nope. don't get it.
Mike
*sigh*
Jim
sorry man.
Jim
hate to let you down like that.
Jim
<queue Larry>
Mike
<delete queue>
Sam
<retry queue>
Larry
that's why you buy the zero gravity Sex Sling Jim
Larry
AND learn how to use it
Mike
--if successful on retry, send 3 more--
Larry
a let down isn't far from a bounce back
Mike
see?
Sam
it was at least 5 resends
Mike
haha
Mike
to 50000 clients

A Very Bevans Christmas

Nancy
bevans will be joining us for christmas dinner
Jim
werd.
Mike
cool
Mike
Did you guarantee him that no poker will be played
Nancy
no
Mike
weird
Mike
maybe he got paid
Nancy
haha
Jim
hopefully I'll win big in vegas so I can afford to buy some plates.
Larry
wtf? he's really joining us?
Larry
don't tease me now
Mike
hahah
Nancy
haha
Larry
i don't want to blow 100 bucks on hair products for some bevans look alike (any pothead from victoria with a smooth talking deameanor and the dead look of a bank executive)
Mike
bave = smooth talking? haha
Mike
apparently you havent had him naked
Jim
werd.
Sam
it was his smooth talking that got you naked
Larry
bevans is so smooth you don't even KNOW he's smooth talking to you until you are left alone to clean up a saliva soaked pillow and your broken dreams of a nice little west end love shack and a imperious persian cat named Cuddles
Sam
and i haven't "had him" naked or clothed
Larry
cyber countes
Larry
counts as well
Mike
mmmm cyber countess
Sam
is that what he's calling himself these days
Mike
HI I'm bave, I'll be your cyber countess for the evening
Larry
the 'bave' kinda spoils it
Mike
sign here, and here, here,...
Larry
but his kicky avatar with the slinky dress more than make up for it
Mike
kicky
Larry
darn tootin
Larry
bevans will be flattered to find so much of this prod blog post dedicted to him and his suave ways

Tintin wants some prod action

Jim
wants from prod action.
Sam
that was my question
Jim
you english and your cute way of talking.
Mike
can you help him for having some prod action
Mike
sure
i think
Larry
the thousands of hardworking men and women who work in the strap-on industry rely on ppl, nay, afficionados like tintin to keep doing what they love
Mike
they love in a strap on?
haha
Larry
they love making love implements for ppl like tintin to enjoy
Sam
he just wanted some prod action, that's all
Mike
cattle prod?
Larry
that's what he always says
Larry
'a little prod action'
Larry
next thing you know, you are getting hives from leather buttless chaps after foraying into the 18 hour of 'just a little prod action' and tintin is ruining your best gimp suit with drool.
Larry
it always starts innocently enough
i mean.. so i hear.
Larry
in theoryl.
Jim
5.
Jim
6
Jim
rules Larry, rules.
Mike
geezus
Larry
ruLES?! Where we're going I won't need, rules.
Nancy
woah
Larry
betcha didn't hink you were going to see a painfully shoehorned reference to Back to the Future today
Larry
well you did. so flux capacitate that

Nov 30, 2006

ogm, NOOB!

Nancy says:
http://www.gamespot.com/ps3
Larry says:
wtf is with the gamespot link?
Nancy says:
haha. are you serious?
look at the ads Larry
Larry says:
oh ok
Nancy says:
and look at the page content
Larry says:
there is SO much shit on that page, wehre the HELL are the ads?
Nancy says:
omg
ok noob

Gin.

Larry Says:
i guess that means tintin is going to the target of my drunk hugs
Larry Says:
oh well
Jim Says:
as long as it's not me, I'm ok with it.
Larry Says:
i'll take that as a Jim - Sanctioned (tm) blessing
Larry Says:
i'll let tintin nkow as I'm giving him undue, unnecessary, and entirely uncomfortable atttention as he tries to choward it up wth the rest of the ppl there

Nov 29, 2006

Psychotherapy

Sam Says:
Mike is off today having psychotherapy

Nov 28, 2006

it's almost like having a real conversation.

Jim Says:
1
Jim Says:
2
Larry Says:
man, that rox
Jim Says:
3
Jim Says:
4
Larry Says:
5
Larry Says:
6
Jim Says:
7
Larry Says:
8
Larry Says:
9
Larry Says:
10
Larry Says:
11
Jim Says:
12
Sam says:
13
Sam Says:
14
Jim Says:
15

OMGWTFBBQHAX?!?!

SOA
XML
WSDL
UDDI
BPEL
OpenBRR
OSSM
QSOS
RPC
doc/lit
PESC
IMS
OKI OSIDS
SOAP
JAX-WS 2.0
JiBX
ORM
AOP
MVC
EJB
ESB
OWASP
SAML
SSL/T
FERPA
PIPED
ID-WSF
XACML
LDAP
WSRP
JSR
JA-SIG
W3C – WAI
ADA
WFE
SQL
ACID
OJB

The Incredible, Edible, EGGS!

Larry
so i go to the washroom, and still nothing blogworthy on this msn chat
Mike
i like eggs
Larry
mmmm, eggs
Larry
looks like we are going to have teh most boring blog in existence
Larry
so, over easy eggs?
Larry
i have a theory that most asians don't know there are other ways to have eggs other than sunny side up and scrambled
Jim
nice theory. spent a lot of time thinking about that?
Mike
burn
Larry
yeah, a TON
Jim
that's right up there with SuperString theory.
Larry
i need breaks between fapping to a nice photoshopped picture of you and Mike doing the leapfrog
Larry
sorry, 'photoshopped'
Larry
fucking eh, i'm expecting my nobel anytime now
Nancy
fapping?
Mike
you see...if I give him Jira items to do, he'll ask me questions...
Mike
so this is what we put up with
Larry
"Pacific Rim Indigneous Peoples and Their Preconceptions To Heat Application To The Gustatory Preparation Of Domestic Avians", to be published in Nature 2007
Mike
PRIPATPTHATTGPODA
Larry
yes.. lends itself well to an acronym

Nov 24, 2006

1337 skillz

Nancy says:
god what a waste of a day
jim says:
haha. you can console yourself that you accomplished more than Mike did.
Nancy says:
though i did improve my l33t tennis skillz

Nov 23, 2006

caulky bastard.

Mike says: (2:44:28 PM)
jealous bitch..I fucking pwnd you and your friends at your OWN game
Jim says: (2:44:35 PM)
er...
Mike says: (2:44:35 PM)
BOWLING FOREVER!
Jim says: (2:44:38 PM)
I wasn't playing.
Mike says: (2:44:43 PM)
thats right
Mike says: (2:44:45 PM)
fraidycat

Bulk Action

Larry
mmm, BULK ACTION
Mike
hawt bulk action with [INSERT WOMAN'S NAME HERE]
Larry
so not going there
Mike
again
Larry
with you again. no.
Larry
not without a valid credit card
Mike
without lube
Larry
and MusterCard and Vasser don't count, nubcaek

Nov 22, 2006

Early Friday

Here

Sexoliscious

Mike says: (1:15:38 PM)
whats that?
Larry says: (1:16:54 PM)
Sexoliscious?
Larry says: (1:17:04 PM)
Tall Drink Of Caulk Juice?
Mike says: (1:17:10 PM)
lets ass-fuck each other

Nov 21, 2006

Mailing Lists, Pastes, and Projectors

Mike
someone has requested to be removed from the mailing list
i have no fucking clue where to start
Larry
send them 43 confirmation emails
tell them to shut off their email
Mike
help me majordomo help me!
Larry
you know what would ROCK?
Mike
44 conf emails?
Larry
if you removed the person, then sent a hard copy and paste transcript of EVERY sis email to the persons mailing address
Larry
man, that would r0xx0r
Jim
a hard copy and paste?
Larry
after the guy has it in his mouth
Mike
yeah weird
Jim
like, toothpaste?
Larry
weird? or strangely alluring
Jim
or some other kind of paste?
Mike
like salmon paste?
Larry
well, if THAT"S how you use your toothpaste tube, i can see how it lasts you so long
Sam
Larry is going to be awesome at this event
Larry
as long as i have an MSN interface to everyone
Larry
wouldn't that be totally odd? like have me at a keyboard with a projector setup
Larry
totally ignoring any eye contact
Larry
typeing away FURIOUSLY

Nov 20, 2006

Wii on the Edge

Sam says (3:31 PM):
has Jim got his wii yet
Sam says (3:31 PM):
i had a go on one at futureshop
Sam says (3:31 PM):
it was a lot of fun
Larry says (3:32 PM):
oh yeah??
Larry says (3:32 PM):
no, apparently he hasn't got his Wii yet
Larry says (3:32 PM):
so ti's pretty awesome eh?
Sam says (3:32 PM):
a lot of fun
Sam says (3:32 PM):
the bowling was pretty cool
Larry says (3:32 PM):
if i get one, i'm going to get it without test driving one first. because that's wholly as insanely irresponsible as my life can allow me to be
Sam says (3:33 PM):
haha
Larry says (3:34 PM):
'yeah, see that machine, never even touched the kiosk, word. i mean, i hear you, i hear your death defying life tales as a crack whore junkie who does basejumping out of propeller plains over the mexico border while doubling as a heroin mule. I can feel taht. But dude, revolutionary gameplay, reasonable price point. NEVER. TRIED."
Sam says (3:34 PM):
living on the edge
Larry says (3:34 PM):
just like that man.

Nov 16, 2006

Uh..heh..how'd that get in there?

Unexpecting Co-worker says: Mike, how do I access the Maintenance App?
Mike says: You have to o through security for that.
Unexpecting Co-worker says: No. We have an account, we just need the URL.
Mike says: Use rubber gloves when handling heavily soiled sheets.

Mike says: haha
Mike says: oops
Mike Says: http://www.realurl.com
Mike says: That whole water advisory thing...
Mike says: Just a handy tip from WiSE.
Unexpecting Co-worker says: thx

Boil-water advisory

Sam says: (3:16:51 PM)
"I drank some water before the advisory. Am I going to get sick?"
Larry says: (3:17:28 PM)
wth are you guys readin?
Sam says: (3:17:35 PM)
"What is the accepted method for boiling water?"
Sam says: (3:17:38 PM)
errr
Jim says: (3:18:05 PM)
hahahaha
Jim says: (3:18:10 PM)
"Apply Heat"
Sam says: (3:18:21 PM)
wait
Sam says: (3:18:26 PM)
wait
Sam says: (3:18:29 PM)
a little longer
Mike says: (3:18:41 PM)
dont watch
Sam says: (3:18:42 PM)
not yet
Mike says: (3:18:49 PM)
itll never boil
Jim says: (3:19:04 PM)
How do I use water when the water quality advisory has been issued?
Jim says: (3:19:10 PM)
how do you n ormallly use water?
Jim says: (3:19:20 PM)
holy fuck. how stupid are people.
Larry says: (3:19:49 PM)
as long as you haven't READ the advisory, you're good to go
Larry says: (3:20:01 PM)
these are the same ppl who submit bug reports
Mike says: (3:20:10 PM)
haha
Mike says: (3:20:22 PM)
My doctor told me I am immunocompromised. What should I do?
Jim says: (3:20:24 PM)
apparently I can just keep doing laundry once every month
Mike says: (3:20:26 PM)
sue his ass
Mike says: (3:20:35 PM)
ahahah
Larry says: (3:21:02 PM)
Mike told me I'm immunocompromised, should I stop drinking the cocktails he buys me?
Larry says: (3:21:07 PM)
sorry, Mikeocompromised
Mike says: (3:21:08 PM)
f you have to launder sheets heavily soiled with feces, ...
Mike says: (3:21:10 PM)
BWAHAHAH
Larry says: (3:21:11 PM)
shit, totally screwed that joke
Larry says: (3:21:25 PM)
WAIT
Mike says: (3:21:31 PM)
Use rubber gloves when handling heavily soiled sheets.

Larry says: (3:21:32 PM)
what do you do if the sheets are heavily soiled with feces!!
Jim has left the conversation.


Larry says: (3:21:44 PM)
heavily soiled sheets? or the feces?
Mike says: (3:21:58 PM)
soiled feces
Mike says: (3:22:16 PM)
someone blogging?
Larry says: (3:22:25 PM)
tahnk god i've taken my monthly shower
Larry says: (3:22:43 PM)
don't want to be showering in feces soiled water for non-sexual reasons...
Larry says: (3:22:47 PM)
wait, did i say too much?
Larry says: (3:23:37 PM)
hey, rye isn't tap-water right?

Unusual mating rituals of people named Mike.

Mike says: (12:29:45 PM)
wanna fist?
Jim says: (12:29:49 PM)
no.
Mike says: (12:29:50 PM)
siscupgrade into Main?
Jim says: (12:29:54 PM)
oh.
Jim says: (12:29:56 PM)
whew
Mike says: (12:29:58 PM)
haha
Mike says: (12:30:08 PM)
i do that on My Wife all the time
Mike says: (12:30:10 PM)
erm..

Blowing TinTin

Mike says: (8:46:17 AM)
Im blowing Tintin off
Mike says: (8:46:18 AM)
haha
Mike says: (8:46:20 AM)
Tintin

Nov 15, 2006

Kermitard cracks self up.

Neo Says:
do you have a sec?
TinTin Says:
I've *tons* of secs.
*TinTin high fives himself

Nov 14, 2006

larry, bl0g nazi

Larry says:
wow.. is your search and replace dongle borken or something?
Nancy says:
what did i miss
Larry says:
uh
sam
Nancy says:
ya i didnt think i needed to change that one
so i didnt bother
Larry says:
???
Nancy says:
!!!
...
Larry says:
why didn't you need to change sam?
Nancy says:
because of the context of that sentence
but if its causing you great tormentous pain i will change it
Larry says:
oh, the pain is already caused, caused and echoed through the blogosphere
thanks to you, the internet is just a little more emo cut cut

various c words

Mike says:
?
Jim says:
Larry says: (12:10:36 PM)
that c word is a bit much, dontcha think?
Nancy says:
?
Sam says:
?
Larry says:
?
Jim says:
?
Mike says:
?
Larry says:
who the hell are these ppl?
Nancy says:
?
Mike says:
My banana got rotten
Jim says:
whatdya think? c-word too much for the blog?
Mike says:
have you met her?
Nancy says:
hells no
Larry says:
no, i don't want to know about a hot stock option, the new hohtness of cialis, or the hot chicks waiting for me to click
fricking bots
Jim says:
werd.
Larry says:
i say it's too much
Sam says:
too much
Larry says:
but then, I'm not in that convo
Jim says:
uh oh.
Mike says:
cut em up all skinny all like
Sam says:
nor is sam, Sam is though
or was
Nancy says:
hahah
Jim says:
looks like I have the deciding vote.
Larry says:
it's actually be funner if it was all **** out
Jim says:
and considering I posted it...
Larry says:
because the inference is funnier
Jim says:
mm, no.
Larry says:
UH OH!
sonuva
Nancy says:
[insert msn cat face]
Larry says:
when are we gonig to learn, democracy never works
Jim says:
hahahha
Larry says:
(for things i want)
Mike says:
the french gourmet thinks youre a cunt
Nancy says:
infer that!
Larry says:
(and for pol pot)
(and that scottish king that pete raves about)
fricking foreest whitaker
you should have stopped your career at Ghost Dog
Sam says:
so the c word stays
Jim says:
yeah, forest whitaker is definitely a cunt.
Mike says:
AHAHAH
Jim says:
sry, [insert msn cat face]
Larry says:
the french who now?
Mike says:
I dont remember Joe onthe honeymooners
haha
Nancy says:
i call dibs on blogging this
Sam says:
and what about that blasphemous prayer post, i mean jesus
Larry says:
fuck, i'm lost again
Mike says:
Johnny Cardson..heh heh heh heh
-d
Larry says:
i pause for 2 minutes to rant, and i get toally fucking lost, you guys need a coles motherfucking notes, godamnit
Jim says:
that's kinda what the blog is.
Mike says:
apple=banana
Larry says:
a prayer post?
Nancy says:
hahah
Larry says:
and mik is in his own little loo loo land with bananas, apples, cats, and french gourmets
Mike says:
FONZ!
Larry says:
i can only imagine his dissapointment on seeing what's ACTUALLY on the Food NEtwork
Jim says:
boo-booo
Larry says:
all ready with his basin of industrial strength KY and Kleenex
Mike says:
hahaha the Fonz, Richie and of course Mr. Woodman
Jim says:
hahahha
Larry says:
WTF? where are my cats? and french gourmets? and rotting bananas?!
Jim says:
he's a cunt too.
Mike says:
hahaha
Larry says:
shit, we've wandered into InsideJokeLand
Mike says:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bf3HwbXeJ8
Nancy says:
read the blog newb
Mike says:
oh man..hes gonna nuke the jello now?
Nancy says:
haha
Jim says:
hahahah
Nancy says:
he doesnt need to, its pretty fucked as it is
Mike says:
oh fuck
John Wayne just showed
Jim says:
he has to - has to kill alll the salmonella.
Nancy says:
hahaha
oooh good point
Larry says:
man, he's hot
Mike says:
dont make fun, Larry
Nancy says:
hahah
Larry says:
is this one of those shows that makes the view more embarassed than the performer?
Nancy says:
ya thats pretty inappropriate
Larry says:
like all those "Stage Performacnes" mike keeps inviting me to?
Nancy says:
theres serious lessons to be learned there
Larry says:
An alley behind the KFC does not a stage make, mike
Nancy says:
like, never ever, anyone, anywhere, cook alone!
Mike says:
says you
Larry says:
seriously.. wtf is this?
Mike says:
"Look a this, its food I dont believe it"
Nancy says:
hahahah
Mike says:
Tim Conway, please help me make stuffing
Jim says:
hahaha
Nancy says:
let me read the directions
Mike says:
we dont have a cup here today folks, but we have margarine
Nancy says:
1. empty spices
2. add food
Mike says:
haha
Nancy says:
haha, dont worry about how much
just dump it in
Mike says:
haaahah
Sam says:
Mike, is there a jira for that awards issue?
Nancy says:
!
way to kill the vibe
Mike says:
whiskey
no
Larry says:
you can't kill the Pontiac Vibe, it's too fugly
Jim says:
sweet. he's in the blogosphere.
Larry says:
fugly that's been hit with a heinous stick and stuffed down the Garbuerator of Grotesqueness
Jim says:
blog link
Nancy says:
haha ya
some guy in the comments made all the food from the show
Larry says:
oh jeebus
we should trade links with him
Mike says:
im pretty sure links are free dipshit
Larry says:
oh damn, this was on actual tv
now you jsut hurt my feelings
Mike says:
sorry
cunt
Larry says:
*sniff*
Mike says:
RIPOSTE
Larry says:
+kb mike
Mike says:
COUNTER RIPOSTE
Larry says:
COUNTERRIPOSTE
COMMENT REGARDING YOUR LACK OF MAINSTREAM SEXUALITY!
ADDENDUM FEATURING YOU AND PYGMY HIPPOS SLATHERED IN SLIGHTLY RIPE TOMATO SAUCE
Mike says:
Random quote involing plankton
Larry says:
FURTHER ATTACK REGARDING YOU, PLANKTON, AND YOUR NEED TO 'GET IT ON' WITH THINGS THAT AREN"T HUMAN
Mike says:
Agrrement and acceptance of terms

howto: cook a 3 course meal

part 1
part 2
part 3

On the ball.

Larry says: (11:30:29 AM)
i think you missed a "Sam" replace in that whole 'cunt' blog

The beauty of Neo

Mike says: (10:52:47 AM)
Thats the beauty of the Neo
Mike says: (10:52:55 AM)
He thinks shit is cool
Mike says: (10:53:04 AM)
and says so
Jim says: (10:53:10 AM)
the more I deal with managers other than Cardinal the more I realize how fucked the tardinal is.
Mike says: (10:53:21 AM)
hah
Sam says: (10:53:31 AM)
it's nice to have someone be positive
Sam says: (10:55:06 AM)
i can just imagine cardinal's negative comments now
Jim says: (10:55:18 AM)
I know.. he'd hate that shit.
Mike says: (10:55:35 AM)
"I can only fit 1 finger (and a thumb) in my ass"
Mike says: (10:56:08 AM)
AMIRITE?!?!
Jim says: (10:56:16 AM)
am i AMIRITE?!?!
Mike says: (10:56:25 AM)
ahha
Sam says: (10:56:59 AM)
that's going on the blog
Jim says: (10:57:26 AM)
hahahaha
Mike says: (10:57:30 AM)
haha

RANT! (warning: may not be suitable for all ages)

Mike says: (11:04:12 AM)
i told her that we do NO figuring of eligibility at all and nor do we plan to
Mike says: (11:04:12 AM)
cunt
Mike says: (11:04:24 AM)
i didnt say the last part
Mike says: (11:04:30 AM)
nor was I callinf yous a cunt
Mike says: (11:04:43 AM)
like youre one piss flap and he's the other
Mike says: (11:04:49 AM)
pair a meat curtains
Mike says: (11:04:51 AM)
both of ya
Jim says: (11:04:55 AM)
er...
Mike says: (11:05:02 AM)
fuck yous
Jim says: (11:05:08 AM)
sorry.
Jim says: (11:05:12 AM)
holy rant.
Mike says: (11:05:17 AM)
blog it
Sam says: (11:05:33 AM)
do you want us to cry, will that make you happy
Mike says: (11:05:47 AM)
yeah thats what I need to see...a wet cunt
Mike says: (11:05:51 AM)
jeezus
Mike says: (11:06:09 AM)
what the fucak are you watching Jim?
Mike says: (11:06:30 AM)
not enough shopping network at hoime?
Sam says: (11:06:30 AM)
fat guy in a funny hat
Mike says: (11:06:38 AM)
he's a cunt too

Nov 10, 2006

Spaz says: (via SMS) 12:47pm
I'm sooo baked.

Time for my prayers:

Our Father, who 0wnz heaven, j00 r0ck!
May all 0ur base someday be belong to you!
May j00 0wn earth just like j00 0wn heaven.
Give us this day our warez, mp3z, and pr0n through a phat pipe.
And cut us some slack when we act like n00b lamerz, just as we teach n00bz when they act lame on us.
Please don't give us root access on some poor d00d'z box when we're too pissed off to think about what's right and wrong, and if you could keep the fbi off our backs, we'd appreciate it.
For j00 0wn r00t on all our b0x3s 4ever and ever, 4m3n.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Jim@Home says (11:52 AM):
or however many you can jam in.
Mike says (11:52 AM):
straz and I on the couch
Jim@home says (11:52 AM):
yeah - maybe I don't
Mike says (11:52 AM):
fucking

hard at work.

Mike says (11:41 AM):
wow...im doing NOTHING
Jim@Home says (11:41 AM):
well done.

omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!

Internetz!! where did you go??? OMGOMG come abck!!

Sweet Nothings

Mike:
jeeeezus Sam
Larry:
seriously
Mike:
I had Larry all subdued and ready for the day
Larry:
let me talk a bit, shit
Larry:
subdued and ready for the day.. things you neve rwant to hear Mike say, even if he whispers it ever so gently
Larry:
*shudder*
Larry:
(with pleasure)
Larry:
kidding!
Sam:
Let him get it out of his system now
Mike:
i keed
Larry:
Ok, got it out of my system, now i'm sleepy

pr0n Against Violence

Mike:
Dan Ackroyd is funny
Mike:
nad Canadian
Larry:
nad Canadian, nads that are frozen and slightly drunk
Sam:
yes nad Canadian, my thoughts exactly
Larry:
espeically in Red.. red.. soemthing.. not red dawn...
Larry:
wtf is that movie?
Sam:
Red samantha
Larry:
Red Sonya? also a tie in to the Governator, well done!
Larry:
REd Sonya, teaching us that the best defense against iron age vicious melee weapons is a sultry smile, a fantastic hair regimen, and a skimpy, skimpy suede bikini
Larry:
also, looking like a pornstar
Larry:
which apparently applies to so many things in life
Larry:
see also Female Teen Idols

Wacky Tabaccy

Sam:
sent him out to buy beer
Larry:
This isn't England Sam, you can't do that here
Sam:
so sent him out to buy crack
Mike:
we have laws for the unruly
Larry:
this isn't the States either
Sam:
i know thats ok here
Sam:
this IS vancouver right
Larry:
it's MaryJane, grass, buddha, BC bud, pot.
Larry:
but crack is for those aggressive a-type personalities that are all about the Career, and "Making Enough Money To Afford Housing" and shit. LIke that debans guy. Talk about 'unrealistic expectations'.
Larry:
in my day, you were happy with you PB&J, and ecstatic you could afford Mac and Cheese once a month
Larry:
my day, of course, being now.
Larry:
not to be confused with My Girl, of course, which was either a lovely 50's crooner tune, or a horrid horrid movie the likes of which I shall never speak of again.

Keep it simple, asswipe

Mike says:
Hi, can you provide me the e-mail address for the person responsible for answering questions related to issues associated with the items found in "HoobleSwortMangleWhip Account". Thanks
Mike says:
related to issues associated with...
Larry says:
uh....
Larry says:
please edit your email before sending it to me (note, more isn't better).
Mike says:
you can use that in your novel if you want
Larry says:
oh, it's so in there
Mike says:
haha
Larry says:
Hi, do you have the the e-mail address of the person who answers questions about "HoobleSwortMangleWhip Account".
Larry says:
mmmmm, simplicocity
Mike says:
Hi, I have a question about HoobleSwortMangleWhip Account...
Mike says:
better yet..
Mike says:
Where the fuck did my payment go?
Larry says:
WTF GIVE MAI MONEE D00Dz!
Mike says:
iM in ur acc0unt sp3nding ur m0nieZ

Nov 9, 2006

Fun Shui

Jim says:
playing hockey at lunch made me think there may not be room to play hockey and darts at the same time...
Jim says:
kinda suxors.
Mike says:
for the blue team
Jim says:
hahahah
Jim says:
home field advantage.
Mike says:
there is plenty of room behind you towards that window wall
Jim says:
oh - does that dart in your spine hurt?
Mike says:
haha
Jim says:
but then where would I pile all my cardboard?

Derawings and other things...

Mike says:
wheres my derawing?
Mike says:
you know what I mean
Jim says:
haha. don't worry - I still got it.
Mike says:
fuck my derawing is killing me today. Must be the humidity
Jim says:
hahahaha

Fitty Fitty

Someone enters selling 50/50 tickets
Larry
holy shit, the shelling has begun
Mike
please fuck off lady
Mike
ill give you an armload
Mike
ahahahaha
Jim
hahahahahha
Sam
mmm that's a long arm
Larry
as a group that goes to the casino for our 'no host' dinner, we are APPALLED by such a brazen display of gambling
Jim
so did they walk around and find the person with the most agravating voice they could find and make her sell tickets?
Mike
ahahha
Mike
OKOK Ill buy...just stop talking!"
Larry
they walk around with the Ear BleedOMeter
Sam
actually she is the one with the least annoying voice
Larry
oh shit, it's off the charts, lady, YOU GOT A JOB
Larry
haahhahah
Larry
man, the meetings y'all must have
Sam
so how frequently are the status updated
vacuum starts up
Mike
ahh hear that?
Mike
here comes the runner up
Larry
THAT"s the most annnoyign voice
Jim
hahaha
Jim
and it's a vaccuum!
Mike
hahaha
Mike
PLEASE REMOVE THE WHISTLE FROM THE VACCUUM!
Jim
woo woo
Larry
sounds like a vacuum mating with an orgy
Larry
of soemthign
Mike
(wtf)
Jim
that's it. I'm going to find bub
Larry
you should be having BREAKFEST OR SOMETHING!
Mike
y'all should be up cookn brefast or sumptin
Nancy
hahaha
Larry
WOO WOOOOOO
Nancy
a wo woo
Larry
next time she comes around, we should hold an impromptu Gamblers Anonymous meeting
Larry
and then all pause when she comes by
Nancy
hahah
Mike
yeah
Larry
and then like totally swarm her
Larry
NOT LIKE TAHT MIKE
Mike
here we go
Larry
here we go what?
Jim
the bubb rubb site I'm on has a poll - which is better PS3 or Wii?
Jim
considering neither have been released yet...
Mike
wii
Nancy
wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
Larry
WIIIIIIIIIIII
Nancy
pwned
Mike
haha
Jim
I'd have to say the poll is probably not accurate.
Larry
if you can't just TELL by your total fanboyism Jim, you are not hooked into the webtroniscone
Sam
what about our poll
Mike
Im at your house playing with your wii
Nancy
hahaha
Jim
wait in line.
Sam
3/5 say wii
Sam
2 undecided
Larry
it's only play until someone says 'no' mike
Larry
shit, who's got the swing vote on that?

who knew blogging could be so difficult.

Larry says: (11:12:35 AM)
who's mike and who's jim again?
Jim says: (11:12:42 AM)
haha.
Jim says: (11:12:44 AM)
I'm Jim
Jim says: (11:12:46 AM)
Mike's Mike.

Us vs. the real world

Upon reading the blog...

Dabid says:
jesus, I've forgotten how slack it is
Dabid says:
man....
Dabid says:
I can't be like you guys anymore. I'm putting on some pants and I'm going to work!
Mike says:
dont do it

Mystery

Larry says (8:56 AM):
hmmmmm, that sounds soo very wrong
Larry says (8:56 AM):
the whole sentence
Larry says (8:57 AM):
especially out of context

rectum? damn near killed em

Nancy says:
link
this one is awesome
and this
Jim says:
hahah. nice.
er, where does this come from?
"to your colon right before you shove your severed cock up your own rectum. "
Nancy says:
haha i dont know but i was too afraid to click the link
Jim says:
don't do it...
Nancy says:
so if youre feeling brave lemme know how it goes
Jim says:
it's actually 2 links.
one for "cock"
Nancy says:
haha
Jim says:
which takes you places you don't want to be.
Nancy says:
hahah
Jim says:
and one for rectum...which takes you basically to the same place.
Nancy says:
haha
thanks
does it have the required references to goatse?
Jim says:
uh, no actually.
maybe you should add it.
Nancy says:
haha
well you're already at the page so you can
Jim says:
haha. thx
"I am in your website, adding the goatse"
Nancy says:
hahahah
i'm going to have to blog this
fyi
Jim says:
hahaha
crap.
pwnd

Nov 8, 2006

Another Wednesday in Paradise

Mike says:
you do anything today?
Jim says:
I kept the Blog up to date.
Jim says:
other than that, no.
Mike says:
yeah me too

if it ain't the caps lock...

Mike says: (3:14:37 PM)
FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING SAVE AS DRAFT BUTTON IN THE RONG SPOT

Larrytrix vs. Gore

Jim says:
you guys here friday?
Mike says:
yuppers
Larry says:
i dunno, still reeling from teh Larrytrix comment
Larry says:
from choward
Jim says:
haha. sry man.
Mike says:
hahaa
Mike says:
he keeds
Mike says:
because he loves
Jim says:
no more Larrytrix jokes.
Jim says:
well, maybe 1 more.
Mike says:
the Larrytrix is NOT funny
Jim says:
hey - I'm no longer tipper
Jim says:
wtf.
Larry says:
tipper is hot
Larry says:
i mean hat
Jim says:
hawt
Jim says:
now that's hat
Larry says:
tipper? more like tap her, am AMIRITE?!
Jim says:
hahah
Mike says:
haha
Jim says:
you are correct.
Jim says:
damn near killed her.
Larry says:
why is the wife of the foremer democratic vice president so fricking conservative, someone plse explanerate
Mike says:
the hair
Larry says:
sorry, almost real conversation there
Jim says:
ya - wtf?
Jim says:
you saved yourself by using explanerate.
Larry says:
i guess if you had to rely on Al Mr. Internet Gore for ... carnal pleasure, you'd turn out like that too
Larry says:
whew!
Mike says:
yeah he sucks at sex
Larry says:
although.. if you had to rely on tap her gore...
Jim says:
werd.

pardon?

Jim says:
Limo Hummers
Mike says:
wtf?
Jim says:
remember that weekend?
Mike says:
do i?!? omg...i didn't think ANYONE could bend that way
Mike says:
Did you just google that?
Jim says:
I dare ya.

Tipper Gore is HAWT!

Larry says: (11:39:20 AM)
fuckingting fucking fuck
Larry has left the conversation.


Mike says: (11:39:42 AM)
who do you think you are Tipper Fucking Gore?
Mike says: (11:39:47 AM)
hey get back here
Jim says: (11:39:57 AM)
you talking to me?
Mike says: (11:40:00 AM)
um nope
Jim says: (11:40:05 AM)
oh . ok.
Jim says: (11:40:09 AM)
I t hought for a second you were.
Mike says: (11:40:10 AM)
just hanging out in this window
Mike says: (11:40:20 AM)
dum de dum de dum
Jim says: (11:40:22 AM)
and no, I don't think I'm Tipper Fucking Gore.
Mike says: (11:40:30 AM)
well you look like her ok
Jim says: (11:40:35 AM)
I get that a lot.

stressful day

Nancy says:
whats a six letter word for disasterous that ends in ic?
tragic?
no
how do you spell tragic
ya thats right
thanks
Jim says:
man. turn away for a few minutes to discuss Christmas cubicle games (like JBocce and Kick The Can At Larry) and I come back to utter confusion
Nancy says:
haha
Jim says:
did Tragic fit for you?
Nancy says:
yes
Jim says:
glad I could be of assistance.
Nancy says:
ya thanks
7 letter word for "hack". T A _ _ C A B
Jim says:
busy day?
Nancy says:
ya totally.
swamped
tanscab
haha
Jim says:
er...
Nancy says:
tallcab?
Jim says:
well, a hack is a taxi driver...
Nancy says:
it is?
Jim says:
I think so....
yeah.
Nancy says:
youre just making that shit up
Jim says:
quite possibly..
Nancy says:
well it fits
Jim says:
# A carriage or hackney for hire.
Informal.

1. A taxicab.
Nancy says:
ok ok
i've moved on
to 29 across
Jim says:
To let out (a horse) for hire.
To drive a taxicab for a living.
Nancy says:
which is "The ___ Heart". 8 letters
_ E _ _ _ A L E
FEEEMALE
Jim says:
haha
looks good to me.
Nancy says:
haha
Jim says:
nothings jumping out at me.
Nancy says:
WEAKMALE
haha
Jim says:
hmm. I think FEEEMALE works better.

Google, BugTracker, and Hats

Mike says (10:48 AM):
Subject: Google Goof Up

1. Go to Google
2. Type in the word "Failure"
3. Instead of clicking "Google Search," click "I'm Feeling Lucky."
4. Laugh uproariously
5. Spread the word before the people at Google "fix" it.
Larry says (10:49 AM):
welcome to 2004
Jim says (10:49 AM):
haha. I like that google now has "Why These Results?" as the first "sponsored" link.
Mike says (10:49 AM):
im just passing it along
Larry says (10:49 AM):
google is just saying "What does the blogosphere and/or Russian spam sites think of this term?"
Larry says (10:50 AM):
it's like wielding the power of the blogosphere at your fingertips
Jim says (10:51 AM):
actually, back in 2004 it was the blogoplane.
Larry says (10:53 AM):
blogoplane? how far back do you have to go before it was a Webring?
Larry says (10:54 AM):
(the less popular successor to the OTHER ring)
Mike says (10:54 AM):
oh man
Mike says (10:54 AM):
so hat right now
Mike says (10:54 AM):
hawt too
Larry says (10:54 AM):
hat?
Jim says (10:54 AM):
I'm getting hat just thinking about it.
Mike says (10:54 AM):
hat REAL hat
Larry says (10:54 AM):
oh baby, it's hat, sooo fricking hat. like bowler and stetson baby
Larry says (10:54 AM):
oh yeah
Mike says (10:55 AM):
nice email to Chris
Larry says (10:55 AM):
what you got there? like 2 gallon action? man, SO hat, so HAT. Is that real felt? No way, 100% custom fit baseball hat? Fo shizzay
Larry says (10:55 AM):
?
Mike says (10:55 AM):
nm
Larry says (10:57 AM):
man, when is Nancy going to get that Supa Dupa job, i want to start writing slogans and pithy phrases
Mike says (10:57 AM):
i got your pith right here
Larry says (10:58 AM):
you got my pith do you? has it stopped burning?
Larry says (10:58 AM):
or, should i say, has the burning sensation stopped?
Mike says (10:58 AM):
"Go f*** yourselves you f***ing stupid f***s" - PahLunger Gookananny Inc.
Larry says (10:58 AM):
now now, tell them how you really feel
Larry says (10:58 AM):
get it off your chest, start the new year right
Larry says (10:59 AM):
"Dropped a inventory item unexpectedly due to server bug? Better luck next year - PahLunger Gookananny Inc."
Jim says (11:00 AM):
anybody blogged this yet?
Mike says (11:00 AM):
haha
Mike says (11:00 AM):
haha
Larry says (11:00 AM):
"If you can't fill out a BugTracker item in clear english, please reiterate it in the retarded lobotomized stoned monkey sign language you obviously communicate with on a daily basis. It'll be given the same attention - PahLunger Gookananny Inc."
Mike says (11:01 AM):
"Can't retrieve your data? - Try entering the right f***ing values into the search, cocksucker!" - PahLunger Gookananny Inc.
Larry says (11:01 AM):
"BugTracker is not an archival system for your email threads. A friendly reminder from PahLunger Gookananny Inc."
Jim says (11:01 AM):
FYYFF - PahLunger Gookananny Inc..
Mike says (11:01 AM):
hahaha

Be more carefuler...

On 8-Nov-06, at 7:24 AM, Larry wrote:

> This email has been edited by the Truth In Email Council. Please take

> pains to add more truthiness to your emails.

>

> Cheers!

> Larry

> CEO, Headmaster, COO, Lead Truth Detector, Editor In Chief, TIEC MBA,

> MSC, PhD, CCRCH, FRSC, BSc.

>

>

> "Please ignore this message. I was doing a release just for this

> little cool thing that Mike and I thought of, that will take 20

> committee hours to decide on. 3 years from now. I forgot to cycle the

> server at the right time to avoid the Big Brother notification."

>

>

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Jim

> Subject: RE: CRITICAL: server is not functioning correctly

>


Hi.

Please ignore this message. I was doing an emergency release of the

Hapladoodle and forgot to email.

Jim.

>

>

>

> -----Original Message-----

> From: Prod

> Sent: Wednesday, November 08, 2006 7:15 AM

> To: Server Support

> Subject: CRITICAL: server is not functioning correctly

>

> =======================ERROR REPORT============================

> Tomcat region is down

> prod on asdf.com problem, bypassing DBPool checks

> ===============================================================

The Future. Is now.

Larry says (8:32 AM):
http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/toshiba/toshiba-shocker-that-crazy-game-helmet-is-for-reals-213133.php
Larry says (8:32 AM):
http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/wbs/2006/10/27/toretama/tt.html
Nancy says (8:32 AM):
haha awesome
Larry says (8:33 AM):
first application
Larry says (8:33 AM):
LOTS AND LOTS OF PORN
Larry says (8:33 AM):
last person to ever really use it. anyone who looks like the model
Nancy says (8:35 AM):
that thing is so rediculous
Larry says (8:36 AM):
is it the sleekness that bothers you nancy? or is it the almost ephemeral nature of it, i mean, how would you know you're even using it?
Larry says (8:36 AM):
it's one of those technologies that you don't even know you are using
Nancy says (8:36 AM):
hm, a 6 pound tv sitting in my shoulders
Nancy says (8:36 AM):
i think i'd notice
Larry says (8:37 AM):
like a m16-m80 combo with extended clip
Mike says (8:37 AM):
remember THAT weekend?
Larry says (8:37 AM):
ahem
Larry says (8:37 AM):
5 lbs. 15 oz...
Larry says (8:37 AM):
EXAGERATER!
Larry says (8:38 AM):
i mean, when is the future? the future is now.
Mike says (8:38 AM):
im pretty sure its tomorrow...lemme check my calendar
Larry says (8:42 AM):
if you had that delightful device slowly crushing the 8th and 9th verterbrae in your neck, you would already know the day
Mike says (8:42 AM):
y'all suck for posting on the blog you know that right ?
Larry says (8:42 AM):
we want to give you the honour mike
Mike says (8:42 AM):
whrees Sam?
Larry says (8:42 AM):
i can't believe you just asked that outloud, when the keyboard is at your fingertips
Mike says (8:42 AM):
sry

blow is a NOUN

Mike says: (8:38:06 AM)
i watched cocaine cowboys last night
Mike says: (8:38:11 AM)
im sooo ready for some blow
Mike says: (8:38:14 AM)
erm
Mike says: (8:38:17 AM)
cocaine

Nov 7, 2006

Neo-Compliancy

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Neo-compliant

Decipher

Mike says:
Larry..I need you to do something
Mike says:
try to get a straight answer out of Neo
Larry says:
what we need is juat that layer to be business-ified against the conditional logic and how that dovetails into our ERPCMSEK piece. I think as long as the flags are set up to not un allow that condition from not un-occuring, we'
Larry says:
ll be fine
Larry says:
'riiiiiiiiight'
Larry says:
"is this the point where you sprinkle fairy dust on us so that we can figure out what you're saying?"
Sam says:
then just put the message on the ESB and there you go
Larry says:
does someone have to inform IT services about a Tivoli script that has to be reintregrated into our business logic?

Suprise!

Mike says: (12:57:04 PM)
there's something strangely disturbing when the wife says "When you get home there will be a suprise here for you"
Sam says: (12:57:13 PM)
hahaha
Mike says: (12:57:23 PM)
All i can think of is a big pile of shit in the hallway needing to be cleaned up
Sam says: (12:57:54 PM)
what a sordid love life you have
Mike says: (12:58:01 PM)
hahaha
Mike says: (12:58:05 PM)
i dont even have THAT
Larry says: (12:58:09 PM)
did she say pleasant surprise? or just surprise?
Mike says: (12:58:15 PM)
just suprise
Mike says: (12:58:21 PM)
I guessed laundry to fold
Mike says: (12:58:29 PM)
then Leaf ticketrs
Larry says: (12:58:45 PM)
surprise as in 'pearl harbour surprise', 'stripper in a birthday cake surprise', or 'dead stripper in a birthday cake surprise'
Mike says: (12:58:51 PM)
oh man
Larry says: (12:58:51 PM)
shit, that just went really dark, where did that come from?
Mike says: (12:58:57 PM)
dead strippers......mmmm
Sam says: (12:58:57 PM)
hmm, not sure i see where you're going with your guesses
Mike says: (12:59:09 PM)
just covering my bases
Larry says: (12:59:21 PM)
did she cackle and evil laugh that was just this side of hysterical?
Mike says: (12:59:29 PM)
I told her that anything less than Leaf tickets (incl airfare) would be disappointing
Mike says: (12:59:36 PM)
she said dont come home then
Larry says: (12:59:43 PM)
way to set yoursefl up for dissappointment
Mike says: (12:59:46 PM)
to which I replied "Is that the suproise?"
Larry says: (1:00:00 PM)
and to which she said 'maybe'
Mike says: (1:00:18 PM)
to which I replied "fine then'
Larry says: (1:00:30 PM)
wow, this is the beginning of the omst tedious novel ever written
Mike says: (1:00:42 PM)
to which I replied "yes, it is"
Larry says: (1:01:02 PM)
to which I answered "wtf, get on with the hacking and the maiming of mike already"
Mike says: (1:01:14 PM)
oh dear

Learn it...

http://www.threadless.com/product/435/Blog

Obsolete? When? But, but, but...

Mike says:
can I delete that fucking thing Jim?
Nancy says:
its already been deleted noobcake
Jim says:
you are sooooo, 11:01

The real world

Larry says:
ppl are sitting there on their Mac pro 8 $3690 laptops sipping their 9 dollar lattes in their hipster v-neck sweater trying to a keep an ironic look on their face all the while hitting REFRESH REFRESH REFRESH on our blog

Blog Beotch.

Sam says: (10:35:19 AM)
why do you get to delete posts
Mike says: (10:35:27 AM)
i think he thinks we are cheapening the blogosphere
Mike says: (10:35:40 AM)
cuz im the admin bitch...you wanna fight for it?
Mike says: (10:35:49 AM)
er...admin, bitch

TinTin splains HR

Mike says:
tintin...explain payscales to me
TinTin says:
you = 0
TinTin says:
jim = big number

Blog criteria 2

Sam says: (10:06:35 AM)
Just so it's clear, anything we msn can be blogged, correct
Mike says: (10:06:41 AM)
yup
Jim says: (10:06:45 AM)
fill yer boots.
Mike says: (10:06:48 AM)
hhaha
Sam says: (10:06:59 AM)
and any one of us can make that decision and post it
Mike says: (10:07:04 AM)
yup
Sam says: (10:07:08 AM)
rgr
Jim says: (10:07:09 AM)
fill yer boots.
Mike says: (10:07:17 AM)
:boobs
Mike has left the conversation.

Blog criteria

Mike says:
ARE YOU BLOGGING THAT??
Mike says:
i meant your msn convo
Jim says:
hahaha. no.
Jim says:
it's not particularly exciting...
Jim says:
not worthy of a blog entry.
Mike says:
swear more
Jim says:
fuck you, you fucking fuck.

Tintin's confidence

Tintin says:
Any reason we can't release the Test App 1 tonight?
Tintin says:
other than the fact we wrote it...
Mike says:
haha
Mike says:
go ahead
Tintin says:
okey dokee - if shits broken tomorrow you know why...
Tintin says:
you in early
Tintin says:
?
Mike says:
ill try
Tintin says:
wouldn't bother just curious
Mike says:
bi curious?
Tintin says:
ass jice curious
Tintin says:
juice
Tintin says:
wanna double down?

Motivational Management Quotes

"Keep doing things that help us not do things" - TinTin

ou est neige?

Sam says: (7:41:20 AM)
did mike tell you had to take off a couple of the blogs
Jim says: (7:41:36 AM)
yeah... I didn't quite understand why...
Jim says: (7:41:42 AM)
somebody cared?
Sam says: (7:41:51 AM)
tintin
Jim says: (7:42:00 AM)
uh...

Nov 6, 2006

Dinner

The Baby Emporium says:
we may have to eat without you, but I'll try and hold off the kids until 4:45
Mike says:
im leaving now
Mike says:
but feed them
Mike says:
dont butt feed them though

wizdel

Web Services Definition Language (WSDL) b . WSDL is an XML vocabulary for describing network services as a set of endpoints operating on messages. The operations and messages are described abstractly, and then bound to a concrete network protocol and message format. Note that the acronym WSDL is commonly pronounced" WizDel".

Terminology:

Blogosphere - like bl0g0sF34R only gayer.
Blogoplane - In the early days of the blog, people thought the blogosphere was flat.
Blogotony - Boring blogs that go nowhere. Not to be confused with Blogotoni, the tasty pasta treat.
Big Name Blogger: What Boobles calls important people.

[PROD]Blog begins.

Larry says: (3:04:01 PM)
i can'te believe cooter@mail.com wasn't taken
Larry says: (3:04:03 PM)
awesomesauce
Jim says: (3:04:10 PM)
hahah
Mike says: (3:04:36 PM)
link to me bitch
Larry says: (3:05:11 PM)
HAhAHaHAHhAHhAhAHAHAAHAH
Larry says: (3:05:11 PM)
ok
Mike says: (3:05:13 PM)
hah
Mike says: (3:05:21 PM)
ive already posted
Larry says: (3:05:27 PM)
sahweet
Larry says: (3:05:32 PM)
what week do we have off for xmas?
Mike says: (3:05:46 PM)
the 15th to the 22nd
Mike says: (3:05:49 PM)
knob
Larry says: (3:05:58 PM)
make your thing a link you technerd
Larry says: (3:06:05 PM)
no, seriously, when bastage
Mike says: (3:06:17 PM)
look at a calendar Larry
Larry says: (3:06:19 PM)
and you don'thave me linked up!
Mike says: (3:06:27 PM)
Janet understands this stuff Larry
Larry says: (3:07:51 PM)
aaand you're point is?
Larry says: (3:07:55 PM)
don't make me sneeze
Larry says: (3:09:15 PM)
i'm still not linked to your pretty blog
Larry says: (3:09:24 PM)
and which user is it? student systems staff?
Mike says: (3:09:37 PM)
i dunno
Mike says: (3:09:39 PM)
i guess
Larry says: (3:10:09 PM)
go blog it baby
Larry says: (3:10:12 PM)
GO BLOG
Mike says: (3:11:53 PM)
imna post our daily msn conversations on this
Jim says: (3:12:04 PM)
hahaha.
Jim says: (3:12:13 PM)
we should create a group [PROD] blog space.
Mike says: (3:12:18 PM)
werd
Mike says: (3:12:19 PM)
on it
Larry says: (3:12:46 PM)
oh yeah baby

Midgets....

Jim says:
where the fuck did you dig that up?
Mike says:
the web
Mike says:
just google midget erotica...
Mike says:
and when that doesnt work out
Jim says:
hahahaha
Mike says:
change it to midget stories
Jim says:
did you try midget erotica stories?
Mike says:
yeah
Mike says:
i did
Mike says:
duh
Mike says:
try googling that shit and see if you have the balls to click
Jim says:
I did once already...
Jim says:
quickly closed it.
Mike says:
hahaha