Sep 24, 2008

Replacements

Larry
you guys do good work
Larry
i'm glad to be part of this team, to look like i'm doing something
Jim
yeah, this team easily accomplishes as much as one really hard working person could.
Larry
working part time
Jim
we really should slow it down a bit.
Sam
and not that hard
Larry
and not so much as person
Larry
as a highly talented monkey
Larry
with asperger's syndrome.
Sam
highly?
Jim
and not really highly.
Larry
moderately.
Jim
or talented
Larry
slightly above average.
Jim
or a monkey. 
Jim
more like a mongoose
Larry
large, sentient sea sponge then.
Jim
perfect.
Sam
a very dim mongoose
Sam
lazy
Larry
with rabies.
Larry
also, dead.

Sep 15, 2008

4 Degrees of Retardation

Larry says:
WTF are you guys talkiing about
Mike says:
yes. It is cool
Jim says:
nothing jerry, nothing.
Mike says:
backabed Jerry
Larry says:
this degrees does NOTHING
Mike says:
its weird....you'd think a biology degree would be more effective in our environment
Mike says:
what with Jim's desk
Larry says:
i know not to get to close.
Larry says:
no, imean my REAL degree fuckface
Sam says:
fucking common sense tells you that
Larry says:
'Writin' n Shit'
Larry says:
nonon
Larry says:
MY DEGREE tells me that
Sam says:
mine tells me you are close to exceeding your bandwidth
Larry says:
huh?
Jim says:
would you guys stfu or I'll come over there and Kick Some Ass
Mike says:
im using mine to the fullest right now
Sam says:
you can't be bothered
Jim says:
hmm. got me there.
Mike says:
two degrees?
Mike says:
Did you pick up a Bachelor of Boredom too?
Mike says:
Major in ennui
Jim says:
no, I have a major in Not Caring.
Larry says:
I MINORED IN THAT!
Jim says:
does anybody have a degree hanging in their office?
Jim says:
that we could replace
Jim says:
without them knowing 
Sam says:
we know Gerrard doesn't
Larry says:
hahahahhHAHAH
Mike says:
well...you could do that shit to Neo, but the fun would be lost when he retires and takes it home
Mike says:
never noticing
Jim says:
we could replace Neo's with a picture of a pig and he'd never notice
Mike says:
hahah...we should just hang some porn in there
Mike says:
People would sit down....look behind him at the wall
Mike says:
and wonder if they should say something
Mike says:
like:
Mike says:
"Is that a horse?"
Mike says:
fucking gold
Sam says:
Larry should be writing this shit
Larry says:
fuck
Mike says:
like that ad for the Christian Net Nanny
Larry says:
i got a degree to give you motherfucker.
Mike says:
and the comments afterwards
Mike says:
"Whatya lookin at Dad?"
Mike says:
"Just some horses"
Jim says:
hahah
Larry says:
'why is that poor lady grimacing?'
Mike says:
"That'sa smile, Son"
Larry says:
"Is she pooing out that horses ding dong?"
Mike says:
all
Mike says:
subtley
Mike says:
lost
Mike says:
how do you spell subtley
Mike says:
?
Sam says:
Larry probably knows how to spell it
Jim says:
goog question.
Larry says:
CUNT
Mike says:
fancy slang
Mike says:
fine Ill google it
Jim says:
that's not how you spell it.
Jim says:
and cunt ain't that fancy
Mike says:
that depends who you hang out with

Sep 8, 2008

Well....maybe you can.

Sam says:
Jim is not typing
Sam says:
i think he wants to see us jerk off
Jim says:
I've been hoping for that for the past 6 years...
Jim says:
why else would I spend time here
Jim says:
let me help you out.

Jim has left the conversation.

Mike says:
i thought for sure we were gonna get jacked off

You can't beat me......off.

Sam says:
Jim left
Sam says:
Jim thinks we're mean
Mike says:
he's still there
Sam says:
mine says he left
Mike says:
mine says he's still there
Sam says:
he's not typing anything
Mike says:
we can probably argue this for a while
Sam says:
how can we settle it
Mike says:
hand jobs
Sam says:
[PROD] Jim has left the conversation.
Sam says:
i don't see, oh ok
Mike says:
whoever wins first
Sam says:
but do we really need to jerk off each other
Mike says:
yes
Sam says:
if only Jim was type something
Mike says:
i think thats the point
Mike says:
the selling point
Sam says:
was would
Mike says:
was would?
Mike says:
wtf?
Sam says:
see my previous sentence
Sam says:
i really think we should include the other guys
Mike says:
if only Jim was would type something?
Sam says:
he's not here
Mike says:
are you trying to distract me while you beat me off?