Dec 21, 2006

It's kinda like eavesdropping, but not quite.

Mike Says
    Larry Says
        I DON"T KNOW!! I DON"T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER!!!
    Larry Says
        I DON"T KNOW WHO SHE THINKS I AM!!!
    Mike Says
        she must think you're Larry Bird or something
Jim Says
why is he shouting at you?
Mike Says
beats me
Mike Says
Imna see if I can get away with Larry Bird as a golfer
Jim Says
hhahha
Jim Says
I was wondering what that was all about.
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        come on, even I'm not that sports illiterate
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        and also, he had a video game named after him
Mike Says
    Mike Says
        yeah Larry Bird's Golden Tee
Mike Says
    Larry Says
        Larry Bird vs Michael Jordon 1 on 1, i think it was called
    Mike Says
        so hawt right now

Dec 20, 2006

Odd evening rituals

Mike says
I'll put it in my Jim Recommends section of Media Centre
Jim says
haha
Jim says
Once were Warriors will make you cry.
Mike says
oh good
Mike says
i need a good cry
Jim says
hahaha.
Mike says
*pulls rubber dick out of ass

Dec 14, 2006

The Enabler

Plik Bok says:
hey todd, can i search for a particular job no in perforce? I was looking for FIN-64
Mike says:
yes you can

Creative Writing

Sam says:
ok, i emailed the guy in tech giving her email address and asking if they have any way of checking this and if so what in they'd need from us
Sam says:
in=info
Mike says:
thanks
Sam says:
i'm after our confident "can't be us" it will be us
Mike says:
nice arrangement

Dec 13, 2006

boobies big steaming pile

Sam Says:
he's a real team player
Jim Says:
he sure is.
Sam Says:
he's going to piss off at some point and leave us with his pile of shit to deal with
Sam Says:
remember that weekend

A Man's House Is His Castle. Made Entirely of Cartridges...

Mike
drool bitches...
Mike
oopds
Jim
ok. drooling
Mike
http://www.techeblog.com/index.php/tech-gadget/greatest-video-game-collection-ever
Mike
this should keep Larry typing for at least 3 hours
Larry
PACKRAT MUCH!?
Larry
just because you CAN collect games that are a total of 4kb and displays in dazzling 3 colours, and has the replayability of, say, sticking both fists up your ass, laterally, doesn't mean yo ushould
Mike
nonono..ill try
Jim
and they're all obsolete with the release of Wii Sports.
Mike
hahha
Jim
wow. listen to him type.
Jim
this is going to be a doozy
Mike
when isnt it
Larry
and that boy, who the poster would like you to think is his son, is either 1) his nephew, who finds him so creepy that he's trying to run for the exit 2) a boy he has lured with promises of gummy bears and gumdrops or 3) a physical manifestation of his lonliness that is so real, so heart destroying, that the universe has conspired to make this boy out of thin air just so that resulting vacuum his
Larry
cry of loneliness makes doesn't cause the extinction of all life as we know it
Larry
also, you know you are typing alot when you hit the bloody MSN IM word limit
Mike
the basement exits were blocked long ago
Larry
he survives on leftover cheetos and the jerkied remains ofhis friends he invited to 'come over and check out these gamez' over five years ago

Dec 12, 2006

Children of the corn

Sam says:
So do you know of any good hotels in Tokyo that won't charge me
Mike says:
just act like you paid
Mike says:
they'll never think to ask
Sam says:
I was corned by kungfu
Mike says:
corned?
Mike says:
really
Sam says:
yes
Mike says:
that musta hurt
Sam says:
add an er in there somewhere
Sam says:
corneder
Mike says:
did he at least lube you up?

and now for something completely different.

according to USA Today, the 5th most requested form of plastic surgery for men is breast reduction.

Dec 11, 2006

Clarification

Mike says:
just to clarify..the rental car ppl are amped
Mike says:
not boobs and firends
Mike says:
i was a little confused after re-reading that on the blog
Nancy says:
hahah
Nancy says:
thanks for the clarification

Boobery

Nancy says:
manboobs just said that he and a couple partners are starting a company and they will soon be making a "trickle of revenue" and they will quit their jobs
Nancy says:
hes telling this to someone that hes leasing a car from
Mike says:
HAWT
Mike says:
hahahahha
Mike says:
boy i bet they are fucking AMPED
Nancy says:
hahah

Larry gets emotional

Nancy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b1cyNigny8
Larry
damn, even i don't even know those acronyms
Larry
IN THE DARK!?!?!
Larry
OH SHIIIT!
Larry
yeah, it's called www.acronymfinder.com you fscking nubs
jesus
Nancy
haha
Larry
lol is NOT FSCKING LEET SPEAK
man, i want to punch these reporters
DANGEROUS DIALECT?!?!
feck, really?
Larry
cyber dettective/!
Larry
ogm
Larry
HAhahAhAhAhAHAhAH
Larry
computer language?!
Larry
you can't program in it you eeeediot
Larry
but you just KNOW that the 'cyber detective' is a senior guild officer in his clan
Nancy
haha
Larry
if you DON"T know leetspeak,it probably means you are NOT a virgin
Larry
mainstream media and tech just makes me violent
Larry
ok, fine, blogging this

Humour, with a capital U.

Larry
hey, do you know why science students and engineering students are so enamoured with british comedy shows?
Sam
no i don't, why are science students and engineering students are so enamoured with british comedy shows?
Sam
it's a joke, right
Larry
oh god. no, it's not a joke
i'm genuinely curious.
it's either these folks (of which I include myself) are secretly british
Sam
because they are smart
Larry
or the brits are secretly a nation of hardcore geeks
nono, me being in the group automatically trumps your 'smart' theory
Sam
seriously though it is interesting
Larry
hey, did you know the python language was named after monty python?
Sam
really?
Larry
was that an unknown fact to you, Oh Conqueror, Oh Colonist?
Larry
yuppers, weird eh?
Sam
very weird
Sam
but totally understandable
Larry
i wonder, do you practice naval maneuvers at the high school level and such? secretly hoping for a return to the reliance of naval hedgemony?i think geeks just understand absurdist humour better
or are just not as self conscious to laugh at it
i think i read about that somewhere in the holy book of armaments
Sam
if you really were secretly a brit you would know the answer to that
or maybe it's a double bluff
Larry
if i was secretly a brit i'd remain a stiff upper lip while you tried to torutre the truth out of me
Sam
you secret brits are a cunning lot
Larry
then when you threatened my manberries, i'd say "do you expect me to talk?" the answer to which, is so self explanatory, I won't insult you by telling you.
Larry
hey! us secret brits are just as good as you out in the open brits!
Larry
oh snap, blew my cover

The British Are Comi-- Here. The British are Here!

Sam
bbc.co link/
Sam
some 600,000 brits in canada
Larry
OH SHIT!!
they could be.. ANYWHERE!!
hell, like, Jim could be one, or Mike!
Sam
bet nearly every quote ends with"but i do miss the british sense of humour"
Larry
ahahhAhAH
Larry
yes, yes it probably does
Sam
hmm more females than males come to canada
see the unemployment stats
Larry
are you telling me you're transgendered?
Sam
i entered as a female
Larry
so if you are locally born, you are more likely to be unemployed?
Larry
haha, but came out a man
Sam
yep
Sam
suckers
Sam
that makes sense though
Larry
ok.. correct me if i'm wrong, but if you're a 'locally born' UKer.. doesn't htat just make you a Canadian with parents from the UK?
Larry
UK keeps a tight grip on her citizens
Sam
haha
Larry
Another bbc link
Larry
egad!
Sam
wow 70,000
Larry
that's... a whole lot
Sam
we sure are generous at letting you in
Larry
yes you are. colonial guilt and all that
and also because an alarming number of us actually watch UK shows
and not the good ones either
Coronation Street. i mean, really.
Sam
It's a prerequisite
Sam
have you seen corrie, check
Larry
have you seen at least one episode of black adder?
can you identify what number is RIGHT OUT when using the holy hand grenade?
Larry
when i say the term "red dwarf" what's the first expletive that comes to mind?
Sam
hahaha
some pretty interesting stats
Sam
1982 we finally handed over all power to canada
what did we retain until then?
Larry
holy crap
i think, knowing you brits, you retained ALL power
youjust gave us the illusion we were running under our own steam
Sam
i think secretly we still do
Larry
hahah
Larry
it would explain so much
Larry
how a brit, excuse me, ex-brit, like yourself, has infiltrated into the highest echelons of the technical community in charge of one of the major canadian corporations, for one
Larry
how phil got a job, for two
Sam
ahahaha

Silver painted fork

Sam
So the fork has this paint
Larry
yeah.. is it actually silver?
Larry
or just silver tinted? or would htat be called silver hued?
Sam
i think its just metallic
Larry
wait, it might be chrome
Larry
is chrome still metallic?
Larry
maybe if you had, like , it in java
Sam
chrome plated
Larry
Metllaic would be the class,and Chrome woul be a subclass?
Larry
oh.. plated. I thought we were talking about paint.
Mike
you SHOUDL be able to repaint the fork
Mike
but I dont want to pay for the paint
Larry
well, yes. theoretically
Mike
and besides, paint smells funny
Mike
and it would be chrome underneath
Sam
maybe there is a place you can go to get forks repainted and they do not charge you for the fork repainting
Larry
it only smells funny if you get the cheap fork paint
Mike
so theres that
Mike
(oh blog this
Mike
)
Sam
yeah there's that
Larry
oh. they wouldnt' charge? so it would be for free?
Larry
i wonder if The Oracle knows about that?
Sam
not really free, just no charge
Mike
I think forks are like spoons
Larry
riight.
Larry
i like sporks
Mike
but you dont have a knife
Sam
some places you can get a fork that is like a spoon
Mike
and again why paint a knife when a fork can be metallic
Sam
i like those places
Larry
omg, it's decemeber 11th, in the old days, i'd be coming in on my 2nd week of vacation
Larry
"set it. AND FORGET IT!"
Larry
i like those places too.
Sam
wait don't both go
Sam
i'm left between the Forkers and the Theoretics
Mike
hahha
Mike
L. Ron Blatt: Theoretics
Larry
hahah
Larry
Forking "Exactly the opposite of Spooning"
Mike
The fork was on the table, right?
Mike
I think the fork was on the table
Mike
right?
Mike
you know, the fork?
Mike
was the fork on the table?
Larry
the fork table?
Mike
Im not going to tell you
Larry
why not?
Sam
so it was a table fork?
Larry
i actually do know
Larry
i'm just not telling you
Mike
EXACTLY
Sam
oh i've been thinking of a garden fork
Mike
oh god...i never thought Id EVER want to hear Serenes voice
Sam
no it gets worse now
Sam
so before you could just "turn" it
Mike
omg
Mike
1 bulb is out
Mike
and Drac's all about the change in contrast
Larry
shit can we talk about something else? my testicles are feeling squeezed by this convo
Larry
like Dabid is givnig me a traditional greeting, or something
Sam
i don't use my bulb take my fucking bulb and shut the fuck up
Sam
no sorry that was me Larry
Mike
ahaha
Mike
ok blog this i need to close the woindow

say what?

Plik Bok says:
do we have problems this morning about the oracle?

Dec 8, 2006

f-bomb

Jim Says:
no wonder The Supreme Commander loves prod support...
Jim Says:
the whole team volunteers for xmas duty.
Jim Says:
we should tell her that if we have to come in we'll make sure we are wearing suits.
Larry Says:
hahaha
Larry Says:
totally
Larry Says:
we'll also work on that mission statement and do some brainstorming sessions on how to increase shareholder confidence
Sam Says:
and we promise next year we'll win that quiz
Jim Says:
we'll fucking win that quiz
Larry Says:
hahahahaHAHAH
Sam Says:
-fucking
Larry Says:
i'm sorry, do we have Nancy on our team now?
Larry Says:
that was gold
Sam Says:
too right

Dec 6, 2006

Alls fair in MSN, beer and blogs

Mike says:
how was the partay?
Jim says:
hawt
Jim says:
but it missed u
Jim says:
biggerboss gave the suits a shout out
Jim says:
he was all over them
Jim says:
had bigboss, the missus and biggerboss
Jim says:
you fuckin cunt
Jim says:
webe wii'in
Jim says:
and the sex with Nancy is hawt
Jim says:
ha ha
Jim says:
awkward
Jim says:
TinTin...
Jim says:
Nancy..
Jim says:
say no more.
Mike says:
hahah

The fustomer is awlays rihght.

Mike says:
fucmking self righteous mac users
Mike says:
ARRRRGRHHRGHHHH
Jim says:
haha.
Jim says:
what's the latest?
Mike says:
"Sorry, but this attachment stuff in the FSC doesnt work at all for me using osx and safari. You should have a list of which browsers you support
Mike says:
:"
Mike says:
I believe we support the FUCK OFF CUNT browser
Mike says:
oh that just got bolgged fidnt it?

english as a second (?) language

Yeow says:
What's wrong with you?

moderation

Nancy says:
from an email about a lunch "This is pay as you go, but I'd like to cover the drinks (Nancy, I'm expecting you to exercise moderation). "
Larry says:
niiice
Jim says:
pwnd
Larry says:
uh, why doesn't he just cover the lunch
it'd be cheaper
Nancy says:
haha
Mike says:
haha
Nancy says:
: Sam says:
cheaper than a moderated damn
Larry says:
did he specify Real Moderation? or nancy's interpretaion of moderation?
Sam says:
nancy even
Nancy says:
i get that a lot sam
Larry says:
like nancy's interpretation of 'nerd'
Mike says:
hahaha
Larry says:
note, WoW players apparently do no apply
Mike says:
ask him for money to keep your morning buzz going

the rising cost of suitage

Nancy says:
haha those pics are sweet.
Mike says:
werd
Nancy says:
jim looks like a boss. mikes the slimy sales guy. larry in the nerdy tech guy and sam is the company drunk.
Mike says:
hahaha..trying to sit up straight
Jim says:
no way - why can't I be the company drunk?
Mike says:
the xmas tie
means you care
Jim says:
aw fuck
Nancy says:
not to mention the very serious look on your face

From: some guy
Subject: error - url here
Body: srfsd

Sam says:
jim looks mean
he's a boss you don't cross
Jim says:
wtf do you mean by that?
Mike says:
solid email
Nancy says:
srfsd? wtf
Mike says:
Larry..acronym please...
Jim says:
Larry?
hehe
Nancy says:
haha
Larry says:
huh!?
wtf are you guys talking about
acronmy for what?
Sam says:
suit Larry doesn't do that
Mike says:
suit Larry sucks it
Jim says:
I want the real Larry back
Larry says:
suit Larry needs to timetable a meeting to get a steering roundtable committee to redbook some proactive and win win scenarios in which all shareholders will feel good about
Nancy says:
haha
Larry says:
not only feel good about, but facilitate more success in our coming quarter in which driving global competition will enable us, as a company, and as a corporate family to overcome and strive to greater heights through the challenges of the Information Age.
so you change agents and outside the box breakers, you trend gurus and design mavens, we'll need you all to be firing on all cylinders to get this company back to the black*
*note : by taking a 15% pay decrease
wtf are we talking about?
Jim says:
srfsd
what does it stand for?
Mike says:
haha
Larry says:
what's in relation to?
Jim says:
unknown
Mike says:
your suit
Larry says:
well, fuck, give me some sort of refeerence ponit
Sam says:
it can relate to anything
Larry says:
Synthetic Reformed Fibers Sequenced for Display
obviously, it practicaly spells itself
Jim says:
Synthetic?
Mike says:
Sexy
Jim says:
you didn't go to Moore's, did you?
Larry says:
hey, only the best for me
Sam says:
the old Larry would have had some reference to gay porn in there
Nancy says:
hahah
Mike says:
yeah gay porn!
Larry says:
moore's what sort of fucking high flying coke snorting hooker strangling martini-lunch having wall street type do you take me for
fuck
this was taken off the first drunk who couldn't fight me off and didn't smell too much of death
fucking hoity toity jim. jeebus. buying suits and such
Jim says:
I didn't say anything about buying.
Larry says:
oh, stealing. well. they can spot me from a mile off
Sam says:
Larry we can tell an expensive suit when we see one
and yours is not one
Larry says:
darn right!
if it costs more than a middle level 450watt powersupply, someone is PAYING TOO MUCH

suit sweat and side-jobs

Jim says:
wii lunch?
Larry says:
oh alright
Mike says:
mmmm sweaty
Jim says:
werd
Sam says:
absolutely
Mike says:
should I bring some games?
Larry says:
a suit isnt a suit unless it's drenched in sweat, even if it isn't your own
Jim says:
haha.
Larry says:
er. scratch that last part
Jim says:
I got sports.
Mike says:
werd
Jim says:
own suit or own sweat?
Mike says:
ill bring controllers
Nancy says:
i should be done responding to these 60 emails by then
Larry says:
60 emails?
are you doing some sort of.. side business?
Nancy says:
haha
Mike says:
more of a back business than side
Nancy says:
hahaha
Jim says:
hahaha
Nancy says:
ya and thats only about 6 emails

Dec 4, 2006

Queue

Mike
mmmBob Sauve
Mike
(Jim might get that..)
Mike
if he was at all paying attn
Jim
crap. now I gotta read the last 20 lines.
Larry
that'll learn you to do work while we fantasize about bevans
Jim
nope. don't get it.
Mike
*sigh*
Jim
sorry man.
Jim
hate to let you down like that.
Jim
<queue Larry>
Mike
<delete queue>
Sam
<retry queue>
Larry
that's why you buy the zero gravity Sex Sling Jim
Larry
AND learn how to use it
Mike
--if successful on retry, send 3 more--
Larry
a let down isn't far from a bounce back
Mike
see?
Sam
it was at least 5 resends
Mike
haha
Mike
to 50000 clients

A Very Bevans Christmas

Nancy
bevans will be joining us for christmas dinner
Jim
werd.
Mike
cool
Mike
Did you guarantee him that no poker will be played
Nancy
no
Mike
weird
Mike
maybe he got paid
Nancy
haha
Jim
hopefully I'll win big in vegas so I can afford to buy some plates.
Larry
wtf? he's really joining us?
Larry
don't tease me now
Mike
hahah
Nancy
haha
Larry
i don't want to blow 100 bucks on hair products for some bevans look alike (any pothead from victoria with a smooth talking deameanor and the dead look of a bank executive)
Mike
bave = smooth talking? haha
Mike
apparently you havent had him naked
Jim
werd.
Sam
it was his smooth talking that got you naked
Larry
bevans is so smooth you don't even KNOW he's smooth talking to you until you are left alone to clean up a saliva soaked pillow and your broken dreams of a nice little west end love shack and a imperious persian cat named Cuddles
Sam
and i haven't "had him" naked or clothed
Larry
cyber countes
Larry
counts as well
Mike
mmmm cyber countess
Sam
is that what he's calling himself these days
Mike
HI I'm bave, I'll be your cyber countess for the evening
Larry
the 'bave' kinda spoils it
Mike
sign here, and here, here,...
Larry
but his kicky avatar with the slinky dress more than make up for it
Mike
kicky
Larry
darn tootin
Larry
bevans will be flattered to find so much of this prod blog post dedicted to him and his suave ways

Tintin wants some prod action

Jim
wants from prod action.
Sam
that was my question
Jim
you english and your cute way of talking.
Mike
can you help him for having some prod action
Mike
sure
i think
Larry
the thousands of hardworking men and women who work in the strap-on industry rely on ppl, nay, afficionados like tintin to keep doing what they love
Mike
they love in a strap on?
haha
Larry
they love making love implements for ppl like tintin to enjoy
Sam
he just wanted some prod action, that's all
Mike
cattle prod?
Larry
that's what he always says
Larry
'a little prod action'
Larry
next thing you know, you are getting hives from leather buttless chaps after foraying into the 18 hour of 'just a little prod action' and tintin is ruining your best gimp suit with drool.
Larry
it always starts innocently enough
i mean.. so i hear.
Larry
in theoryl.
Jim
5.
Jim
6
Jim
rules Larry, rules.
Mike
geezus
Larry
ruLES?! Where we're going I won't need, rules.
Nancy
woah
Larry
betcha didn't hink you were going to see a painfully shoehorned reference to Back to the Future today
Larry
well you did. so flux capacitate that