Jan 29, 2007

Zelda - NC18

Mike says:
im still trying to find the key to uploading a file
Jim says:
hahaha
Mike says:
this is like fucking Zelda
Jim says:
I haven't gotten to that part of the game yet.
Mike says:
Im going to try left right left right ab ab select start next
Jim says:
it sounds like fun.
Jim says:
hahah
Mike says:
ohyeah
Mike says:
you bend that fuckin elf over and giv'er with with the wiimote
Mike says:
mostly ass spanking

Jan 25, 2007

Stuff

Larry
"whatcha working on?"
Larry
"Stuff"
Larry
most defensive use of the word "stuff" ever.
Larry
followed by the 1972 altercation between Jimr Lallymoore and 4 hoodlums in downtown New York when asked "Yeah? What martial arts do you know?"
"Stuff"
Jim
anybody here know who Jim Lallymoore is?
Mike
WHATS THE FREQUENCY KENNETH??!?!
Larry
in 1972, he was all the fucking rage
Larry
short listed for Time's Man of the Year
Sam
you two know way too much pointless shit
Larry
now a grade D Clerk at the Library Of Congress cataloguing rare collections of Brazilian Pogs issued by the Oscar Meyer Corporation between 1982 and 1986
Mike
i dont know anything
Larry
i wonder if ppl surprise Dan Rather with that
Larry
just as he's walking down the street, get reaaally close to him, then scream it in his ear
Jim
brazilian pogs?
Larry
fuck, that'd be funny
Mike
haha
truedat homeboy
Larry
or just like, play the song really subtley on your ipod while walking 1 foot from him
Mike
hehe
Larry
yeah, Brazillian Pogs, yo unever had a collection? they were abit naugthier, and could be redeemed for some minor plastic surgery
Sam
what did you have done Larry?
Mike
thhats not a hat
Larry
i'm sorry what?
Larry
"what did you have done" ?
Larry
that's like a zen inducing sentence
Larry
wow SCManageUserContact is a fucking beast
Larry
it's everywhere
Mike
plastic surgery-wise
Larry
like my train of thought
Larry
oh, i was just shy of redeeming them
Larry
and then Oscar Meyer got caught in that "Harvesting Beached Whale Feces For Seafood Sausage" scandal. and shut down all promotions to brazil
Larry
a buncha fucking prigs
Mike
wow
Mike
focus Larry
Mike
on email
Larry
so focussed
Larry
focussed on it like it was Jim's Hard Ass
Mike
see how haard Jim is working on this?
Mike
you need to be like that
Larry
so i need to be watching youtube?

Jan 24, 2007

New Blog Title

Larry
well, i don't know how we can continue working with that sound
Jim
yeah, it's pleasant.
Larry
i think my eyes are bleeding
Mike
Sunshine lollipops and Rainbows...
Larry
i'm sorry what?
Mike
that sound
Mike
reminds me of
Larry
was that the phrase the CIA used when waterboarding you?
Mike
yes
Larry
Sunshine Lollipos and fucking RAINBOWS!! TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW!!! TELL US!!!!
Jim
now *that's* a better and more realistic tag.
Mike
haha
Jim
let the tag wars begin...
Larry
Begun The Tag Wars have.
Mike
what the fuck is going on?
Larry
we should rename out blog to meritorious sunshine lollipops and fucking rainbows
Larry
does that pass committee?
Mike
ok..daddy's clued in now
Jim
no kommitte...
Jim
just do it.

Studies show

Larry
link
Larry
when martha can display russian bondage bestiality pr0n on her face, that number will change
Mike
hahaha
holly shit Larry...that was blog worthy
Larry
" -- A majority of Americans (52%) describe their most recent experience with a computer problem as one of anger, sadness or alienation."
Mike
yeah...alienation
Larry
that's AFTER they are done with it
because cleanup is never a picker upper
particularly in haste, and around finicky eletrical devices
Mike
Larrys on a roll!!
Jim
hahaha
Mike
when martha can display russian bondage bestiality pr0n on her face, that number will change
Mike
i just needed to see that again
Larry
uh, ohkay...
Mike
-- The average American is wasting 12 hours per month - the equivalent of half a weekend - due to problems with their home computer.
Mike
hahahah only half a weekend...right
Jim
hahah.
Mike
self inflicted problems
Jim
"average" being the key word Mike.
Mike
ahhh
Jim
not "Mike Frames"
Mike
take me out of the mix and its 5 minutes
Jim
heheh
Larry
remember that weekend
Larry
but we couldnt' take you out of the mix could we Mike?
Mike
the directions said making the cast would be easy
Larry
for the last time, Iranian Military Chokeholds are NOT allowed in the Happy Group Hug Room
Larry
oh, we went two totally different directions there
Mike
yes...we usually do
Mike
or
Mike
remember that weekend?
Larry
i wish i did, but i think you deprived my brain of much needed oxygen. all i have for a memory of that weekend is a blurry polaroid, a court summons, and some trannie hooker who still wants payment for services rendered.

Jan 23, 2007

I Don't Think That Word Means What You Think It Means

Mike
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cock
Larry
uh?
Mike
8. Chiefly British Informal. pal; chum.
Mike
ello cock
Larry
why 'ello there cock!
Larry
good ol cock you are!
Larry
lemme give ya a hug then!
Mike
me and my cocks are going out tonight
Larry
come ere cock!
Larry
oh you got a good many cocks you like to hang about with then?
Mike
me mums got a new cock
Larry
out on the couch, with the cocks
Mike
haha
Mike
my cock's in the shower
Larry
naw, you don't say! it's always good for yer mum to have a new cock now and then
Larry
even if it's not precisely the sort of cock you'd have yerself!

SHHHHTANKKKAYYYYY!!!

Jim says:
so how'd it go with the Nanny?
Mike says:
fuckled
Mike says:
.
Jim says:
these starbucks cards smell funny.
Mike says:
she's been fuckled
Jim says:
haha.
Mike says:
why are you sniffing your starbucks card?
Jim says:
you didn't?
Mike says:
uh..yeah...I did
Mike says:
fuck
Mike says:
i stinlk
Mike says:
stink
Jim says:
nice.
Jim says:
how come?
Mike says:
yeah..it kinda sux sitting here
Mike says:
i dunno... i guess the shower didnt take
Jim says:
fuckin showers.
Mike says:
i musta left the shields up
Jim says:
maybe you should concentrate on actually cleaning yourself in t here...
Mike says:
I was cleaning...and I can clean it as fast and as much as I want
Jim says:
hey - you're the one who has to live with your stink.
Mike says:
it has its perks
Jim says:
as long as you stay over t here, I couldn't give a rats ass.
Jim says:
hehe
Mike says:
funny you should use that term
Mike says:
thats what I smell like
Jim says:
why are you sniffing your rats ass?
Mike says:
not sniffing...just rubbing it all over
Mike says:
me
Jim says:
ah. we have different definitions of shower then.
Mike says:
You're right...let's go to starbucks
Mike says:
*lights dim
Jim says:
werd.
Mike says:
*scene ends
Mike says:
you see that last commennt on the SIN thing?
Jim says:
neg.
Jim says:
link?
Mike says:
http://Link.com
Mike says:
im smelling like I do after 2 hours od gun game
Mike says:
od=of
Jim says:
pwnd?
Mike says:
my nostrils are taking it up the ass
Jim says:
hahha

from breakfast to ...

Jim Says:
what's wrong with eating breakfast at home?
Mike Says:
there were ppl I used to supervise upstairs that would sit at the front counter and eat their breakfast while helping students
Mike Says:
drove me fucking nuts
Mike Says:
I did put an end to it though
Sam Says:
you used to supervise ppl
Mike Says:
just so you dont think Im a pussy
Jim Says:
is t here anything worse than listening to somebody chew?
Mike Says:
yes..it happened once
Mike Says:
listening to The Terminator shit everyday in the public washroom?
Sam Says:
yes, but that's your choice
Jim Says:
haha.
Mike Says:
i have to come clean...it's an addiction
Jim Says:
er.. what's your choice?
Mike Says:
seriously though...does The Terminator not use his toilet at home?
Mike Says:
It's either him or plik in there everyday copping a squat
Jim Says:
copping a squat.
Jim Says:
never heard that one before.
Sam Says:
very british
Mike Says:
haha...laying some coil
Jim Says:
oooohhhhhh.
Jim Says:
now I get it.
Mike Says:
negotiating the release of the little brown hostages
Mike Says:
dropping the kids off at the pool
Sam Says:
i get the impression you could go on like this for days
Mike Says:
making a deposit at the Bank of Ceramica
Sam Says:
we went from eating breakfast to shitting
Sam Says:
awesome
Jim Says:
isn't that usually how it works?
Sam Says:
yes, but usually not so quickly
Mike Says:
welll...I DID see this video on the web once...

Jan 18, 2007

Closing Time

Larry
The tall, pale man with the severe haircut approached Sam. There was no quarter given. The man babbled obscenities -- or what sounded like obsceneties-- at Sam, who only lowered his head, thinking of what it would be like if the man spoke english. The torrent of words and phrases that at one point, perhaps in an English Grammar Book for ESL , had made sense. Had made a futile, uselss sort of
Larry
sense.
Larry
Larry saw his MSN blinking. He would not be pulled in. Using his good work pr0n to diffuse a kafkaesque situation was not worth it. He pretended to do some code commenting
Sam
hahahaha
Larry
The clock moved at a glacial pace. At some points standing still. A european man, several desks back, watched the entire situation unfold slowly. "Subject thinking about leaving early", he wrote.
Sam
this new book you're writing it sounds familiar
Larry
Time was their enemy. And their most desperate saviour. If it moved quick enough, they could both escape the note taking man, and the severe gentleman. If it didn't move fast enough, the situation could only get worse.
Larry
Larry urged Sam to check if the notetaking man had left yet. But he knew in the most primitive parts of his soul that the man had not left. The boring eyes left their mark and retreadi their unwavering path on the back of Larry's skull.
The clock ticked. One minute had passed.
Larry
i guess i'll blog this
Sam
Sam confirmed Larry's worst fears. The notetaking man, sat steely eyed at his desk, his pencil poised. At that moment they both heard plodding steps approaching. It could be only one person, Fortressant was approaching

Jan 15, 2007

Loss

Larry
i can't believe Betty is leaving
Larry
i mean, it seems only yesterday we were having coffee with that bright eyed charismatic employee with aspirations of HR stardom
Sam
i know if she was planning on leaving i could have understood
Sam
surely urgent status is not enough for Betty leaving
Larry
there has to be something more meaningful. something that would capture the entire esprit of her career here
Larry
the lives she touched, the iniatives she moved forward
Larry
a mere database flag on a internal website seeems not enough, frankly
Sam
i know, especially a flag that has already lost it's meaning
Larry
but then, all things lose their meaning when confroonted with the soul crushing loss thatis Betty leaving
Sam
true, they are some big shoes she is leaving

Jan 10, 2007

Since Go Fuck Yourself

Mike says:
branch testing is only a week or so behind on the BIG item
Jim says:
you keep your grubby hands off my BIG item.
Mike says:
shaddupa you a fucking moutha
Jim says:
I am not a fucking moutha
Mike says:
i played nintendo last night
Jim says:
and?
Mike says:
mario swears to me
Mike says:
putta you a cock ina my mouth
Mike says:
you know
Mike says:
soak tha cork
Larry says:
stopa making fun of gaya mario!
Larry says:
he's got your mushroom righta here!
Mike says:
fucka youa you stupida fucking cockasucker
Mike says:
fyayaffa
Mike says:
its ethnic day on msn
Mike says:
im doing the grocery list for the weekend...should HotRods go under breakfast items?
Jim says:
yes.
Jim says:
and lunch and supper items.
Mike says:
hahaha
Jim says:
and snacks.
Mike says:
Sustinence: Hotrods
Jim says:
and drinks.
Mike says:
and suppositories
Jim says:
hahah
Mike says:
you can take that two ways
Mike says:
(BWAHAHAHA)
Jim says:
no.
Jim says:
you can take that two ways.
Sam says:
i'll pass
Mike says:
joke of the year right there my friends
Larry says:
ring of fire!
Mike says:
^runner up
Jim says:
I dunno.. pretty early in the year for comments like that.
Mike says:
comment of the year!!!
Larry says:
comments about hotrods for suppositories?
Mike says:
of the YEAR!
Larry says:
i mean, who HASN"T thought of that
Mike says:
ahh lol@self

And since when do we use blog titles as comments?

Da Bears

Mike
Also please ask the designers to change the column widths since there too much space is wasted on the page. This requires us to resize the columns each time.
Mike
Go f*ck yourself, Mike for HyperGlobalMegaNet Support
Larry
designers?!
Mike
yeah...you
Mike
designer
Larry
wow, is she in for a surprise
Mike
he...its the hasslehoff guy
Larry
niiice!
Larry
a guy who dressed as ryu last halloween, another guy who plays the nerdiest most obscure video games, a prius driving wii playing hardass, and a brit
Larry
"please count your lucky stars that the screen you are working in is not in Engrish "
Mike
man I can stop thinking about Jim's hardass
Larry
you can?
i can't!
Mike
I can
i just did
Larry
youre a machine!
whatever you do Mike, do NOT think about Jim's hardass ok?
Larry
DON"T think ahbout it
Larry
aaaand, another line crossed
Mike
ugh...polarbears and Jim's ass aaaaigiighghg
Larry
polarbears!?
Larry
is that like, a large hairy gay Inuit?
Mike
hahha
Mike
are there any other kinds?
Larry
well, there are the big gay hairy men in the interior, sasquatches
Mike
"in the interior"
Larry
and teh big hairy gay men in HSBC, bevan's date
Larry
deep in the interior
sometimes out
then in, then out, then in
Mike
oh
Mike
like leapfrog
Larry
much like leapfrog, except bacon grease instead of astroglide
Mike
rgr

LOve is in the coffee? I certainly fucking hope not!

Love is in the air. Or is it the coffee?

Jim Says:
donezored
Jim Says:
everybody should be good again.
Mike Says:
i love you
Mike Says:
u
Mike Says:
h
Mike Says:
and THANKS!
Jim Says:
thank you. I love you too.
Jim Says:
:boobz
Jim Says:
I love her, too
[PROD] Todd says: (10:07:58 AM)
:boobz :boobs
Jim Says:
boobs galore.
Mike Says:
like being at the Cecil...at WORK!

Jan 9, 2007

Meritoriousnessly Mounting Mooblets

Mike says:
STOP FUCKING WHISTLING YOU STUPID FUCK!
Jim says:
sorry.
Sam says:
sorry
Jim says:
I didn't realise I was.
Mike says:
fucking mooblet
Jim says:
mooblet.
Mike says:
in 66 sweeping the baseboard with his tits whistling all the while
Jim says:
hahaha
Sam says:
whistling tits
Jim says:
he's an especially meritorious mooblet.
Larry says:
meritorious, hot damn
Jim says:
that's a good one eh?
Mike says:
haha
Sam says:
if only we knew what it means
Jim says:
it's a measure of one's meritoriousness.
Sam says:
ahhhh
Larry says:
fuck, every email i'mgoing to try and sneak in that word
Larry says:
meritoriousness
Mike says:
irrimeritoriousness
Larry says:
even more better!
Larry says:
Irrimeritriousnesslessly
Larry says:
use that fucker in a sentence
Mike says:
That fucker stole my sammich
Mike says:
:D
Larry says:
badumpah
Larry says:
but seriously Mike. don't EVERY joke about sammiches
Larry says:
they are not for the stealing, only for the eating
Mike says:
yes true..don't every joke about sammiches
Larry says:
they are to be eating irrimeritoriouslessly
Larry says:
unless you are having a choward and bevans sammich
Larry says:
then, man, so many jokes to be made
Larry says:
so much smoothness in that sammich you almost don't need the caulkgun filled with astroglide.
Larry says:
almost

Shocking...

Mike says:
i wnat my mroning conversations dammit!

Jim says:
you don't have history?
Mike says:
i dont becuae it makes me slooow
Mike says:
becaue
Mike says:
the plural of because
Mike says:
i guess that would actually be becuae
Mike says:
BUKKAKE!
Mike says:
please format the bolding apporpriately
Jim says:
er. thanks
Jim says:
I don't t hink that's all th at makes you slow.
Mike says:
ooo
Mike says:
"I love to shock you"
Mike says:
in 66
Jim says:
hahah
Mike says:
she's bringin out the shocker
Mike says:
licking my thumbs...here it cCOMES!

Cheerful

*entirely too cheerful chatting in the conference room*
Jim
omg.
where does our company find these people?
Larry
the Happy Fun HR Consulting Sunshine And CandyCane Group?
Larry
holy f*ck, how do they maintain their joy?
they must get a specially laced Prozac Enhanced water
Larry
did I say prozac enhanced? i mean mainly prozac, slightly dampened with water to make it drinkable
Jim
prozac? I'm thinking crystal meth.
Larry
you might be right
Larry
is there anythign above crystal meth? like the crystallized and purified essence of the adrenal glands of seven million african hares, during rutting season, on crack?
Larry
because theya re fricking infused with it

THE NEW BLOGGZOR ROX)RZ OMG GMOMOMG

Can u beleve at?

Jan 8, 2007

Knight Rider == Quick Service

Mike
the best part...
Mike
wait for it...
Mike
Mike Hazinov
Mike
soooo close to Hasslehoff
Larry
man awesome
Mike
Dear Mike...the stupid defaults are there for ppl like you
Mike
If we put in the advanced defaults
Jim
Dear Mike, if you were a 'Hoff we'd do it right f*cking now. but you're not.
Mike
buy an H, bitch
Larry
PS plse send pictures of you in a speedo with puppies
Sam
speedo optional
Larry
PPS get a rousing pop star career in germany and a semi-homeoerotic relationship with a 1985 Trans Am

The Beautiful Science

Larry
http://nothingbutvideos.blogspot.com/2007/01/best-fight-you-will-ever-see.html
Larry
blocking. optional.
Larry
the asian guy owns the white guys fist with his FACE
Larry
the white guy does a pretty good job too
Mike
hHh SET TO oZZY
Mike
totally
Mike
ouch face

Kaboom.

Larry
http://nothingbutvideos.blogspot.com/2007/01/unbelievable-explosions.html
Jim
that blowed up real good!
Mike
some f*cker is probably covered in tons of foam
Mike
hahah...f*ck....somebdy's having a bad day
Mike
"How was work dear?"
Jim
well, some people in sales couldn't log on...
Mike
Because I incinerated them
Jim
and I blew up a block of the downtown core.
Mike
you remember that underground storage tank?
Mike
yeah
that one
Larry
fiery chain reaction. man, good times.
Larry
apparently Inflammable means teh same as flammable!
Larry
oh man, nuke test, so awesome
Mike
yeah
Larry
why are those peaceniks always against nukes? they're awesome!
Mike
hahaha
Mike
"A truck filled with 3000 gallons of fuel..races to beat a locomotive..."
Larry
hahahahh
Larry
if ever two terms should never have combined. 3000 gallons of fuel. Racing. Locomotive.

Jan 4, 2007

Speaking of poop...

Jim says:
holy hacks
Sam says:
what's that
Jim says:
just trying to do everything without having to instantiate any ejb's...
Jim says:
or configure ems
Sam says:
hahaha
Jim says:
or configure the persistence stuff
Sam says:
oh yeah the persistence stuff
Sam says:
you've created ems lite
Jim says:
haha.
Jim says:
also called "regi"
Sam says:
hahaha
Jim says:
fuck. if neo every cared enough to look at the shit I produce...
Jim says:
er...
Sam says:
you'd like that wouldn't you

Jan 2, 2007

Out of nowhere on a Tuesday morning.

tintin says:
i had some difficulties making a poop...
Mike says:
thank you for that update