May 23, 2013

The Application of Imagination

Mike: gimme 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: go
Jim .: the online application is bad.
Sam: it is very bad.
Mike: 2 each lazy bastards
Jim .: it is very bad.
Sam: the online application is bad.
Mike: ahahaha
Jim .: job fucking done.
Mike: congratulations on meeting the minimum requirements
Jim .: "the online application is the worst thing I've ever seen on the web"
Sam: true dat
Mike: make bank
Jim .: and that includes dancing hamsters
Mike: well why wouldnt it?
Sam: now you give us 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: Would you say that the paper version of the online app was 30 feet long?
Mike: or just 20?
Mike: I'm leaning towards 30
Jim .: there's a paper version of the online app?  uh...
Mike: remember the one I printed out and taped to the wall and ceiling and wall and floor?
Jim .: oh yeah
Jim .: at least 30
Sam: says the guy whose submarine only goes 20ft deep
Mike: yeah, what the fuck do you know about measurements?
Sam: i'd say 30 too
Jim .: I thought I just imagined a submarine that goes 20 ft deep.
Mike: hahhaha
Sam: so now you're saying you don't even have a submarine, jeez
Mike: what next?  No Santa Claus?
Jim .: I'm not saying that.
Jim .: maybe i have a submarine that goes 10 feet deep.
Jim .: but I could imagine one that went 20
Mike: i doubt that...
Mike: its a stretch
Sam: why are you suddenly asking about online app anyway?
Jim .: don't you know there's no more development on admissions stuff pending implementation of Kuali?
Mike: Shiran needs numbers to help build a case against the way admissions does things
Mike: so that Tribal can build us an app
Mike: or somesuch
Mike: im sure
Mike: allegedly
Jim .: uh
Jim .: how is that possibly Shiran's job?
Mike: the amount of time we spend on hotfixes and maintence
Mike: =Shiran
Mike: mmm maintence
Sam: well i hope the 30ft number helps
Mike: im pretty sure thats the number they were looking for
Sam: maybe put it in cm, it has more impact, 900cm
Jim .: I couldn't imagine an online app being 30 ft long.
Mike: full circle
Sam: i'd say it was also about 6ft wide
Sam: so basically its a 30' x 6' app
Jim .: that's as big as some vancouver apartments.
Mike: Jim...reach into your magic SQL bag and give me the number of abandoned apps since September 2012
Jim .: we have an online app you could live in!
Mike: hahah
Jim .: 42
Mike: thx
Mike: i was imagining about 7
Mike: so thats great
Sam: that's 42 ft
Mike: 42 odd foot of abandoned applications
Sam: that can't be right
Mike: thats only about 1 and a half
Jim .: loling too much
Mike: i heard
Mike: Hi Shiran,
We're looking at about 42 feet and 12 ounces of abandoned applications
Sam: Just paste this convo in for her
Mike: hahaha
Mike: Our online application consumes 72 litres of webspace

Jan 29, 2013

Lord of the Rings

Mike says:(1:43 PM)
i want to play the comebacker so bad right now
just so that his fucking bracelets leave that desktop
Sam says:(1:43 PM)
you don't like his bling
Sam says:(1:44 PM)
i'm want to play because i am sooo bored
Mike says:(1:44 PM)
the sound of his bling grinding against the table is abso-fucking-lutely maddening
Mike says:(1:45 PM)
he also has the loudest scroll wheel on planet earth
Sam says:(1:45 PM)
but the thought of it....
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
aahhhhhhh ffuuuucckkkk
Sam says:(1:46 PM)
now you have made me notice it
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
losing my shit
no srsly... do you have a bran muffin?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
what do don't want any more 2% increases?
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
how to pay for the muffins?  Vicious circle
Jim says:(1:47 PM)
is that a double positive negative?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
ok, i'm going for a 2%
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
dropping the 2%
Mike says:(1:48 PM)
the deuce
Sam says:(1:48 PM)
i 2% the bed
Jim says:(1:48 PM)
listen to him scroll
that's a big muther fucking web page
Sam says:(1:49 PM)
its the bling thats annoying me now
Jim says:(1:49 PM)
hmmm, you're not going to be happy tomorrow then
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
Jim says:(1:50 PM)
no reason
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
are you planning on wearing a huge bracelet?
Jim says:(1:51 PM)
didn't say that
Mike says:(1:51 PM)
is a cockring a bracelet?  technically?
Sam says:(1:52 PM)
Mike says:(1:52 PM)
i can barely concentrate
Sam says:(1:53 PM)
i can't get Jim's cockring out of my head
Mike says:(1:53 PM)
on anything other than cockrings
Jim says:(1:53 PM)
Sam says:(1:54 PM)
Jim's cockring payment
Mike says:(1:54 PM)
i know right... ok...lets do this without talking
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
omg. have we been talking
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
i've never anticipate typing cockrings more in my life
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
more, yes
Jim says:(1:55 PM)
yes, pated
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
ok ok ok Lois whatever...I need to type cockrings...youre killing my comedic timing
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
Sam says:(1:56 PM)
Mike says:(1:56 PM)
oh fuck my liver hurts
or whatever that is
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
so now I pretty much have to get a cockring and bang it around on the desk.
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
rules is rules
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
can't argue with that
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
i see no other alternative
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
they will be like the department masks
we'll hang them on our desks
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
"what's THAT"
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
and when they're not hanging on our desks, you'll know it's special day
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
"Oh, my Departmental cockring"
Sam says:(1:58 PM)
ok, bocce tourney, everyone put their cockrings on
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
dont have to tell me twice
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
god, and Larry isn't even involved in this msn
Mike says:(1:59 PM)
i know
MSN would catch fire
he'll read about it on the blog
Sam says:(2:00 PM)
he'll hear about it when Jim bangs his cockring on his desk tomorrow
Mike says:(2:01 PM)
well this certainly killed that super bored feeling I had
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
are you busy browsing for your ring now
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
dare you
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
so?  Jim?  safe?
Jim says:(2:02 PM)
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
yeah, it's safe
they only provide the best cockrings available in canada
3 year guarantee
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
for discolouration?
Sam says:(2:03 PM)
30 money back guarantee
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
your cockring takes batteries?!?
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
yours doesn't?
Mike says:(2:04 PM)
no, it does
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
110v cockring
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
just when you think this convo is done