Too Busy Watching 'Steel Magnolias'

Larry
Link to a scene from Braveheart.
Larry
*sniff*
Mike
never seen it
Larry
you are dead to me.
Larry
next wii lunch we should see this
Larry
or maybe schedule a MARATHON OF MANLY MAN MOVIES for christmas
Larry
so little Mikey can see all the movies he should have fucking seen
Larry
you're about to get your Man Card pulled buddy.
Mike
mmm

Gang Violet

Mike
YES YES YES!!!
http://www.yourtvlinks.com/file/6622-80039s-gang-fight.html
Jim
it's back, baby
Larry
werd.
Mike
The Falcons get to make the rules
Larry
is this Mr. Belvedere?
Mike
haha
Mike
listen close to the lyrics
Larry
sweet, the kids from Fame and Thriller are coming ti KICK SOME ASS (then have buttsecks)
Larry
i don't have to listen to th elysrics to know its' about colourful, ethnic sodomy.
Larry
MOVE THOSE HIPS
Larry
oh yeah, tha'ts not gay at all.
Larry
"nono, not a dark, menacing purplse. Do you have a lavender? Or a mauve?"
Larry
this prolly started the Blood vs. Crips bloodbath. fuck, even I"m pissed off at their protrayal of urban violence.
Larry
bout ready to get my gat and my nine and drive by a few whities myself now
Jim
what do you think his threads are worth once we kill him and strip himdown

says the web savvy veteran....

Jim says:
http://www.thecomedynetwork.ca/shows/showdetails.aspx?a=b&u=1&sid=3351&c=CA&time=1194296927&hash=d02b107867538128517b04ba9859a75c
Jim says:
play the nov 1 clip 3 of 3
Mike says:
UR LYNX SUCKZORZ
Larry says:
OH MY GOD! LARN HOW 2 INTERNET!!!
Larry says:
which interview is it?
Larry says:
Mike
Larry says:
which interview is it?

Halloween at Larry's place

Larry says:
what did your kids dress up as?
Mike says:
Spongebob, Winnie the Pooh and Simba
Larry says:
i had a han solo trick or treat our place. it was awesome
Mike says:
you invite them in?
Larry says:
Simba? lion king is still popular?
Mike says:
no..but cheap
Mike says:
I love the look of the parents faces as they wait by the curb and you usher their kids inside
Larry says:
well, naturally, if they can roll a natural 20, and can define what a high constitution might mean, and what races have a +3 modifier to it. Then yes.
Larry says:
ah, cheap is king indeed
Larry says:
it's best if you lick your lips as you invite them in
Larry says:
and if you're not wearing any pants
Mike says:
hahah
Mike says:
answer the door naked
Larry says:
well, yeah, that's the trick
Mike says:
treat to follow

Columnist

Larry
i'll pass, after overcoming my fear of needles, i'm going to find out what all the fuss is about this 'heroin' everyone is talking aboutl.
Larry
i figure it'll make a good subject for the Watercooler
Manward
call it smack talk with Larry
Larry
oh yeah!
Larry
that's a great name for my column
Sam
Larry's fight against addiction
Sam
addiction to the flu shot
Larry
Smack Talk With Larry
The new shipmentof China White is in. It has a nice nutty start, with a crunchy styrofoam high, before it dumps you pretty hard with a really tar like ending. On the plus side, I only dry heaved for 3 hours after going cold turkey on it, so you know it's pure.
Larry
it writes itself!@

The Short Answer

Sam
hey, what are ocz like
Larry
OCZ? as in the RAM?
Sam
well, sd memory
Larry
as in, what's their reputation?
Sam
yeah
Larry
so, like, what would the general geekery and technological community have to say about the overall stability, reliabilty,and performance of said brand, on aggregate, and on the whole, ignoring any and all anedotal outliers?
Sam
yes
Larry
If I get your meaning -- and please, correct me if I'm out of order, or if I've shaded your question with the wrong intent, that is to say, flavour -- then what you would like to ascertain from me is some sort of zeitgeist surrounding OCZ and the components they make. A barometer, if you will, of the company and it's feeling of ill or goodwill among the technology enthusiast crowd. Ignoring, of
Larry
course, enthusiasts who may have rigourous and frankly shocking loyatly to, shall we say, competitors brands. What you would like to get a sketch of, in short, is an answer to this question, "Is OCZ, good?"
Sam
Yes, a simple, good or bad will suffice. I do not need a detailed and thorough discussion of the pros and cons of said brand.
Larry
So you would not want to know, for instance, if hte local dealer of OCZ certified equipment is in fact a latent homosexual with an alarming collection of burro erotica? Or that, say, their current labour policies in the RAM production field are second to none?
Sam
Whilst intrigued by the Mexican food sounds Burro, I have no idea what it is and do not feel it will influence my decision on whether or not to purchase memory from said company. Nor do i particularly care for the labour policies, as I feel my being an "EveryDay Hero" allows me certain leeway in my purchasing decisions in this regard.
Larry
They're pretty good, I guess.
Sam
thanks

Excuses, excuses.

Mike
you have a kid..its the perfect excuse
Larry
hahaha
Mike
Yeah...sorry (last minute) Mias not feeling well
Mike
she just yakked up her sweet potatoes all over the dog
Larry
holy shit, you just made up that excuse on the spot, so smooth! so natural! you should write a book
Jim
I'm surprised they don't all want to just go somewhere cheap and buy you gin and take in all the hugs.
Larry
and they'll be like "wait, this isn't YOUR birthday Larry"
Larry
and i'll be like all puppy dog faced and be like "so.. no LAN party then?"
Mike
I'd love to write a book but Hudson is running a bit of a fever. He's got a bit of a rash on his cheek too which may be a sign of fifths disease. I really have to keep an eye on it. you understand right. Sorry.
Larry
i'm fucking astounded
Larry
you should be a Facebook application
Larry
need an excuse, click here
Larry
fucking rad.
Jim
"no I can't go. Mike's kid is not feeling well and she just yakked up her sweet potatoes all over the dog"
Mike
Thanks for clicking the button. Unfortunately I cannot create an excuse right now as it seem the Norwalk Virus has paid us, our kids and our dog a visit. Unless you have some handy tips for getting hotdog vomit out of bed spreads, I won't be able to talk to you for a bit.

Cottonophobia

Mike
required viewing NOW
Mike
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G45s4GJslGI&mode=related&search=
Larry
i guess it's when a large cotton ball made from frogs killed my entire family then ass raped my dog.
Mike
"dog"
Larry
and when the cotton man tries to choke me with the cotton, i realize.. oh yeah.. it'sjust oversized COCKS.
Larry
which explains why my son hates his toys...
Larry
who was swearing?
Larry
wtf?
Mike
it's weird...I never actually SEE Larry smoking crack
Larry
hahahHAHAHAHAHhaHaHHAHAH
Jim
haha
Larry
my sweaters are made of crack that's absorbed throught the skin
Jim
hahaha
Mike
"sweaters"
Mike
i got some sweaters
Sam
there is officially no safe word we can use
Mike
haha
Jim
"safe"
Larry
i'll get in YOUR safe baby
Larry
crack it
Larry
CRACK THAT SAFE!
Mike
Sweaters come in pairs and are delivered in a convenient skin pouch
Jim
Maury PWNS that bitch!
Jim
nice job.
Larry
seriously,wtf happened to her. some serious fucking trauma to be scared of cotton balls
Mike
im afraid of spies
Jim
stabbystabby
Larry
STABBY STABBY!!!!
Larry
i like to stab the engies when they are crouched....
Larry
bent right over that dispenser, oh yea

Bahrain, Syria, Whatever.

Jim
blogzored
Larry
how is that in anyway funny Jim?
Larry
THIS IS SERIOUS LIFE AND DEATH SHIT WE GOT GOING ON
Larry
you ask anyone, even your friend in Bahrain, he'll know
Larry
he'll be like, holy fuck, you guys were talking about advanced TF2 setnry gun placement?!
Jim
it's not Bahrain, dickhead. It's syria.
or the maldives.
and don't fuck with me.
Larry
and you'll be like 'I LULZ THEM!'
Jim
my syrian friends won't like it/.
Larry
and he'l be like 'I'VE GOT A DIRTY BOMB FOR YOUR ASS SPHINCTER YOU STUPID FGT NUB SHAFT!'"
Mike
hahah]
Larry
and you'll be like "NO PLAS! I LURV YOUR COUNTRY!"
Larry
and he'll be like "TAKE TF2 MORE FUCKING SRSLY! OK!? SRSLY!. fuckwad."
Jim
I'll be like, 'DON'T TASE ME, BRO!'
Larry
and it'll be tooo late
Larry
you'll already have a Uranium Colon Cleaning
Jim
what, that's it? That's all you got

NEEEERRRRRDDDDDSSSSS!!!!

Mike Says:
ragin drunk...gotta be home by 9
Mike Says:
for TF2
Larry Says:
holy fuck, youguys should start mastering the Get the Engie in IMPOSSIBLE PLACES skillz
Larry Says:
apparently you can crouch jump on the dispener
Mike Says:
link us to pics
Larry Says:
ppl get in pretty much SUPAR places
Mike Says:
but you need a 2nd person to set up near you
Larry Says:
and you can also set a TELEPORTER EXIT in weird spots that youc an't jump to, then build a teleporter entrance and get up there
Larry Says:
http://img160.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=22813_very_high_sg1_122_639lo.jpg
Mike Says:
so if they try to rocket your sentry, the other guy smokes em
Larry Says:
wha?
Larry Says:
oh right
Mike Says:
being an engy alone in 2fort is pretty much useless...soon as a heavy or soldier shows up with a medic, youre toast
Larry Says:
yeah
Mike Says:
whats the point of having that so high?
Larry Says:
you need to have ppl respond to your screams for help, at the very least
Larry Says:
a spy can't sap it
Mike Says:
it has no range and is a sitting duck
Larry Says:
and a demo man can't hit it
Larry Says:
i'm not sure what it's range is
Larry Says:
iv'e seen those placements before,t heyare pretty useful
Larry Says:
BUT if you can sneak by, it doesn't cover the cap point
Mike Says:
so whats the trick?
Larry Says:
a dispenser on the far right or left, crouch jump on the ledge
Mike Says:
can you jump on other players for a boost?
Larry Says:
nono, just onto the dispenser
Mike Says:
booo
Larry Says:
"Simply - crouch jump from trolley near computer bank, onto computer bank. Build dispenser. Crouch jump onto dispenser, jump, and place teleporter exit on the ledge above you. Destroy disp, make teleporter entrance, teleport up to that area, etc etc."
Larry Says:
only the engie can crouch jump onto his dispenser
Larry Says:
you know where a good offense place is? in 2fort, in the BAD GUYS sewers, where the health and ammo is
Mike Says:
so jump on "toss" the exit up
Larry Says:
then get a teleporter exit there
Larry Says:
no, the blueprint can be placed above where youc an jump, i guess
Mike Says:
no one uses the sewers but me on 2 fort
Mike Says:
always empty
Larry Says:
you obviously haven't played enought 2fort

Fruit or Vegetable?

TinTin says:
does Terminator even understand english?
Mike says:
lol
TinTin says:
is he even aware what language the rest of us speak?
Mike says:
nope
TinTin says:
i've had more comprehension from a tomato
Mike says:
i bet
Mike says:
you've probably had more sex from a tomato

Teleconferencing the Ajaxification of the Web

Larry
i'm having a blast, you are so jealous
Sam
is it good?
Larry
oh my god, so good
Sam
did you ajax shit up
Larry
fucking hellsyea
Larry
you know Neo in the matrix, when he learns Kung Fu? that's exactly what it's like
Larry
fucking downloading the techincal shit dawg.
Sam
sweet
Sam
so do you have Joe Smith?
Larry
yeha, he's fucking pimp dawg
Sam
he looks it
Larry
dear god, he's going over the basics of what AJAX is.
Larry
i did google maps integration!! I R SMART!! MOVE FASTER!
Sam
hey, he needs to fill the day
Sam
fill it
Larry
does he ever
Larry
wait.... what do you want me to 'fill'?
Larry
already/ so early in th emorning?
Larry
cheerful mike is here
Sam
oh really
Sam
that must brighten the mood
i wish was there with him
Larry
i feel like the air is infused with aerosoled Prozac, it's awesome
Larry
why don't you come join us/ theere's still room
Sam
we're only allowed one per team
Larry
*sighs like a martyr*
Larry
you can take my spot
Larry
nono, it's ok
Larry
go ahead and take it. it's the least i can do, after getting a ride home.
Sam
i've missed too much now
Sam
i'd never catch up
Sam
i'll just attend your presentation at the next systems meeting
Larry
oh, alright
Larry
you are so unselfish!
Sam
i know
Larry
literally crucifying your technical knowledge on the tree of Generosity.
Larry
i just had a cinnamonbun... the insulin spike is going to knock me out
Sam
enjoy your nap

Concentrated Meditations on Rodger

Larry
damnit, when was the last time I was sick
Larry
i have a baby!
Larry
a spewing, phlegmy, coughy baby!
Larry
WHERE IS MY PAYOFF?!
Sam
the love and enjoyment you get each day when holding and playing with your beautiful child
Larry
right..
Larry
so, no ETA on my sick days then?
Sam
that is in your hands
Larry
hey, does Rodger have a kid/wife?
he strikes me as someone who doesn't
Sam
he has a partner
Larry
hahahah
Larry
what do you mean, he has a partner
Larry
what are you insinuating?
Sam
absolutely nothing
Sam
all i know is he has a partner
Sam
and he likes to suck cocks
Sam
recall last line
Larry
hey, some ppl like to fry the chicken, and eat it slowly with their incisors, who am I to judge how he eats his fowl?
Sam
i think his partner is female
Larry
really?!
Larry
i mean..
Larry
that throws me for a loop
Larry
i assumed he still lives with his aunt who raised him, ever since his parents died in a rare safari off the coast of Borneo
Sam
ah
Sam
sorry to shatter the illusion
Larry
his aunt, who has an exotic predilection for all things voodoo, kept him on sick days through her liberal use of new orleans hot foods and a distaste for food safety
Larry
he found solace, early on, in computers. their cleanliness, their distinct desire to have nothing to do with auras or voodoo dolls.
Sam
wow, you think about Rodger a lot
Larry
at the age of 32, he finally found a career as a programmer, and has been happy ever since
Larry
but still lives at home.
Larry
his only chance at anything approaching a relationship was a tryst his former C++ instructor made at him. unfortunately, his instructor was from hardy czech farming stock, and Rodger had neither the sophistication nor the social depth to realize that 1) the instructor was a she and 2) that the instructor was making veiled passes at him to "instantiate HER object"
Larry
yes, i do.
Larry
he's an enigma

Use Another Server

Larry
hey assmonkey, preprod uses some Clickarray DEVILRY, so that the static shit comes from some unknown bastion of HELL
Larry
i suggest you build to integrate
Mike
nah
Larry
Jim just told me he'd kill me ten times over with his dinner fork if I ever bother him with such a ridiculous question.

Clown Bike

Sam
boredom beginning to set in
Larry
ihear ya
Sam
pre 9am boredom is the pits
Larry
mine was interruppted by the distinct feeling of utter worthlessness and depression. But thankfully the performance evaluation was relatively short
Sam
ahhh, yes. the knowledge that you have an awkward hour meeting to look forward to at some point where BOSS and your pm attempt to say positive things about
Sam
the whole time in your head you are picturing homer riding a clown bike with his pants falling down
Larry
hahah
Larry
except the clown bike is looking up at me saying "YOU SUCK!! IT"S A GOOD THING YOU WORK AT COMPANY ABC INC. OR YOU WOULD BE FIRED SO FAST YOUR TESTICLES WOULD SPIN!"
Larry
yes, testicles. they usuually don't spin, but the force and vigour of the firing would make my nether region like two competing gyro scopes
Sam
"HOMER MAKES YOU LOOK SO INCOMPETENT"
Larry
"IF HOMER WAS A REAL PERSON. AND BY REAL PERSON I MEAN A DROOLING, BRAIN DEAD HUMAN VEGETABLE, I"D HIRE HIM TO DO YOUR JOB TWENTY TIMES OVER! AND ALL BEFORE YOUR FIRST COFFEE BREAK!"
Sam
ahahahaha

MSN of a higher class

Larry
can't you say "I say old man, why don't we just go for a post of tea, why not! Now, I've been lead to belive you have taken a bit of a fancy for my MacBook Pro. Now, old man, it'd be an awfully good sport of you if you'd just sod off, you know."
Larry
i've been reading some Evelyn Waugh
Larry
apparently you english folks really talked like that in WW2
Sam
Look old man, some of us chaps still do talk like that. A fine state we'd be in if we all talked the way you yanks do. No, no, that would never do. More tea?
Larry
It's a right sporting way of conversing, if I may say so myself. May I? Mayn't I? Good show then. And I think I'll have a bit more of the Darjeely if you have any. Sharp as tacks, those punjabs to make such a spot on drink as tea, dont' you think?
Sam
It certainly hits the spot. You know, I was telling Maud the other day, wasn't I Maud, you can't beat a good cup of char. Not much use for anything else those punjabs, but they make a fine cuppa, What's that Maud?
Larry
Oh Maud is always spouting about the latest thing isn't she just? Such a card she is. Now say old man, what say we take a few days off and watch the semi-qualifying rounds for the 2007 Cricket Championships. I daresay there is a new bowler for Pakistan, he's got an arm he does.
Sam
Champion idea old bean. I'll have Maud knock us up some sandwiches and a few cakes for afternoon tea and perhaps a flask of Earl Grey. I say, I don't much fancy our boys chances out there against those Pakistanis. It's the food you know.
Larry
yeah, i'm pretty sure i can't keep this up

Change Agency!

Sam
then you can give them a demo
Sam
GB may have questions
Larry
may
Sam
you may need a strategy to deal with that
Larry
taht doesn't include punching him in the nards
Sam
first i recommend determining what kind of person he is, you know a what, why, big picture, etc and then tailoring you demo to him
Sam
good luck
Larry
haha
Larry
Just a birds eye view. Maybe whiteboard a few scenarios, communicate with a few stakeholders to tap into their domain expertise. Then maybe get a stand up meeting to figure how you want to comprehensively co-author the proper directives to enable fast and end-to-end change agency.
Sam
i sure hope Mike is getting all this
Sam
he's awfully quiet, i guess he is working on his demo

Hold. Still.

Sam
Neon wants CC and Noir to experiment
Sam
oh, my eyes, my eyes
Larry
hehhe, hawt!
Sam
ok, so you put this end of the tube there and i'll just....
Larry
hold a minute. JUST HOLD A MINUTE THERE
Larry
I haven't got it set UP! HOLD IT IN!! HOLD IT IN!!!!
Larry
damn, it's all slipperynow, i'll never get a grip on it
Sam
don't move, DON"T MOVE
Larry
maybe if i hold it in my teeth

Bloody shit

Jim:
I think I'm outta here.
Mike:
rgr
Jim:
if I stay it will be unpleasant for everybody involved.
Jim:
hopefully I don't pull a TinTin.
Mike:
i need money for lunch
Mike:
ahhh family
Larry:
you sick Jim?
Mike:
no YOU sick Jim
Larry:
or dracula is getting to you?
Jim:
stomach fuxored
Jim:
haha. yeah, if I stay the blood will be unpleasant for everybody.
Larry:
ah
Mike:
ah...like dinner time at my house
Jim:
hahah
Sam:
images, images
Larry:
blood and explosive diarrhea, sounds like a win for everyone involved
Mike:
wii lunch?
Jim:
plus if I puke I owe Apu 10 bucks
Mike:
i KNEW it
Sam:
if you puke, make it towards dracula
Mike:
yeah make him choke on it
Sam:
and i'll refund the $10
Jim:
ok. now I am going to puke.
Mike:
puke in his mouth while youre french kssing him
Sam:
i didn't say kiss him and ...
Larry:
jeeesus
Jim:
------------------ <-- line
Larry:
i turna way for a second and we have vomit homosexual french kissing
Mike:
and then with the diarrhea...
Sam:
did you not see the line
Larry:
EXPLOSIVE
Mike:
(sranwrap...you know...the usual)
Jim:





























Mike
Larry:
what line?
Larry:
except, without teh sarawrap
Mike:
so anyways...to make a solid (so to speak) Manhattan Transfer....
Larry:
heat transfers better without that barrier of plastic
Larry:
and to the urban dictinoary i go
Mike:
you dont have to email me pete
Larry:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manhattan+transfer
Larry:
oh for FUCK's sake
Larry:
it just gets worst
Larry:
3 and 4.....
Mike:
#6
Sam:
"Stephen gave me a Manhattan Transfer after hearing my story about the Holocaust."
Jim:
He gave her a manhattan transfer, allowing the free flow of feces between the two of them.
Sam:
wtf
Sam:
the example should make sense, surely
Mike:
Stephen gave me a Manhattan Transfer after hearing my story about the Holocaust.
Mike:


A man and a woman get into the "69" position and unload a nice thick log into each others mouth.
Mike:
just had to paste that
Larry:
nice thick log.
Jim:
ok.
Jim:
I'm definitely out.
Larry:
man, i'll never be able to read up on forestry news ever again
Mike:
Travis wanted to try a Manhattan Transfer but we didn't have a straw so he just farted on my balls.
Larry:
two anal cavities...
Larry:
HAHAHAH
Sam:
i now understand what Mike is trying to do with the hackey sack
Jim:
fuckin travis.
Mike:
haha
Jim has left the conversation.


Larry:
and with the straw
Sam:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lincoln+tunnel
Sam:
Mike is attempting to combine this with the Manhattan transfer
Mike:
well duh
Larry:
so.. .. uh. yeah.

Pwnd!