Mar 19, 2016

Another Brick in the Wall

Quee: shockers had a good pep talk at the half
Mike: fack
Mike: Villanova will avenge me!
Quee:i'm so white that i had to google "always reppin"
Mike: haha
Whick: Ha. So white.
Whick: So…what does it mean brother?
Mike: it means that they sat on the bench at the 2016 march madness and all they got was this lousy t-shirt
Whick: Nice
Quee: you have to google it yourself Whick. Google is gathering information on who the whitest people in the world are. you get to join me in their database
Quee: if you also google "who is drake?" you then get to join the whitest canadian club too
Whick: Is he related to Drizzy?
Quee:haha... dammit you made me google!
Plick: Nike has shirts ready for the regional winners after they win and ripping the net off... Yes... Always rip pin'
Plick: I is not good at grammar.
Whick: Never stop a shuffling
Whick: Speaking of white. Yale vs Duke.
Quee:next year I'll have to pick Georgetown #1 to earn some street cred
Plick: That is the whitest matchup
Whick: Trump is building a wall around the court as we speak. And will appear on the court at halftime. Start his new country from there.
Mike: fucking lol
Quee: wall made out of gold
Mike: LOL
Quee: the black guys can build it
Quee: too far?
Plick: Cause they're tall right
Whick: Mexicans build the base.
Mike: hahaha
Whick: This chat is off the record right?
Mike: getting word from my lawyer now...
Quee: google tracks this chat too
Mike: i hope so
Mike: comedy gold
Quee: we will all be offered Trump cabinet positions after they read this one

Feb 21, 2014

Clever title

Sam: the hockey commentator just said something about canada ramming it down the us's throat
Mike: hahaha
Mike: so hawt
Mike: that was the bet
Mike: I guess they paid up
Sam: yeah, our currency is handjobs, so i guess we can't say anything
Mike: haha
Sam: so the webapp link in the other webapp is working now
Mike: in prod?
Sam: not sure if broke anything else
Sam: yeah
Mike: wow
Sam: but hey, its like you and your trigger. my thing works
Mike: hhaha
Mike: Don't Look Bak (tm)
Mike: No Mistaks
Sam: hahaha
Mike: remind me to pack my bags if UBC ever gets audited
Mike: this is insane
Sam: hahaha
Sam: Part of me feels sorry for Card
Sam: What does the incorrect deployments of some regions mean?
Mike: i replied and asked if the forms have to be available , legally, by Feb 28
Mike: (hint: they do)
Sam: i bet no one will help him with his release
Mike: you mean , like , us?
Sam: no, i mean others devs from that side
Mike: lol
Mike: im not sure they could 'help'
Sam: probably not
Mike: "make another table and update it through triggers"
Sam: i had Conchita asking about the merge
Mike: Conchita?
Mike: merge?
Sam: yeah
Mike: why
Sam: how come emilie's changes did not show up last week
Mike: "A mouse chewed through a cable"
Mike: my overnight build
Sam: and how does code get merged to main
Mike: hahahha
Sam: i guess that was the issue monday
Mike: we have a press
Sam: i told the devs merge their code
Sam: nothing to do with us
Sam: yeah
Sam: we push it through a really tight hole
Mike: hahaha
Mike: like REALLY tight
Sam: yeah, lemme show you
Mike: say my dick is code...
Sam: see how tight that feels
Mike: hahahaha
Mike: im still lol
Sam: same here

May 23, 2013

The Application of Imagination

Mike: gimme 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: go
Jim .: the online application is bad.
Sam: it is very bad.
Mike: 2 each lazy bastards
Jim .: it is very bad.
Sam: the online application is bad.
Mike: ahahaha
Jim .: job fucking done.
Mike: congratulations on meeting the minimum requirements
Jim .: "the online application is the worst thing I've ever seen on the web"
Sam: true dat
Mike: make bank
Jim .: and that includes dancing hamsters
Mike: well why wouldnt it?
Sam: now you give us 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: Would you say that the paper version of the online app was 30 feet long?
Mike: or just 20?
Mike: I'm leaning towards 30
Jim .: there's a paper version of the online app?  uh...
Mike: remember the one I printed out and taped to the wall and ceiling and wall and floor?
Jim .: oh yeah
Jim .: at least 30
Sam: says the guy whose submarine only goes 20ft deep
Mike: yeah, what the fuck do you know about measurements?
Sam: i'd say 30 too
Jim .: I thought I just imagined a submarine that goes 20 ft deep.
Mike: hahhaha
Sam: so now you're saying you don't even have a submarine, jeez
Mike: what next?  No Santa Claus?
Jim .: I'm not saying that.
Jim .: maybe i have a submarine that goes 10 feet deep.
Jim .: but I could imagine one that went 20
Mike: i doubt that...
Mike: its a stretch
Sam: why are you suddenly asking about online app anyway?
Jim .: don't you know there's no more development on admissions stuff pending implementation of Kuali?
Mike: Shiran needs numbers to help build a case against the way admissions does things
Mike: so that Tribal can build us an app
Mike: or somesuch
Mike: im sure
Mike: allegedly
Jim .: uh
Jim .: how is that possibly Shiran's job?
Mike: the amount of time we spend on hotfixes and maintence
Mike: =Shiran
Mike: mmm maintence
Sam: well i hope the 30ft number helps
Mike: im pretty sure thats the number they were looking for
Sam: maybe put it in cm, it has more impact, 900cm
Jim .: I couldn't imagine an online app being 30 ft long.
Mike: full circle
Sam: i'd say it was also about 6ft wide
Sam: so basically its a 30' x 6' app
Jim .: that's as big as some vancouver apartments.
Mike: Jim...reach into your magic SQL bag and give me the number of abandoned apps since September 2012
Jim .: we have an online app you could live in!
Mike: hahah
Jim .: 42
Mike: thx
Mike: i was imagining about 7
Mike: so thats great
Sam: that's 42 ft
Mike: 42 odd foot of abandoned applications
Sam: that can't be right
Mike: thats only about 1 and a half
Jim .: loling too much
Mike: i heard
Mike: Hi Shiran,
We're looking at about 42 feet and 12 ounces of abandoned applications
Sam: Just paste this convo in for her
Mike: hahaha
Mike: Our online application consumes 72 litres of webspace

Jan 29, 2013

Lord of the Rings

Mike says:(1:43 PM)
i want to play the comebacker so bad right now
just so that his fucking bracelets leave that desktop
Sam says:(1:43 PM)
you don't like his bling
Sam says:(1:44 PM)
i'm want to play because i am sooo bored
Mike says:(1:44 PM)
the sound of his bling grinding against the table is abso-fucking-lutely maddening
Mike says:(1:45 PM)
he also has the loudest scroll wheel on planet earth
Sam says:(1:45 PM)
but the thought of it....
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
aahhhhhhh ffuuuucckkkk
Sam says:(1:46 PM)
now you have made me notice it
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
losing my shit
no srsly... do you have a bran muffin?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
what do don't want any more 2% increases?
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
how to pay for the muffins?  Vicious circle
Jim says:(1:47 PM)
is that a double positive negative?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
ok, i'm going for a 2%
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
dropping the 2%
Mike says:(1:48 PM)
the deuce
Sam says:(1:48 PM)
i 2% the bed
Jim says:(1:48 PM)
listen to him scroll
that's a big muther fucking web page
Sam says:(1:49 PM)
its the bling thats annoying me now
Jim says:(1:49 PM)
hmmm, you're not going to be happy tomorrow then
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
Jim says:(1:50 PM)
no reason
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
are you planning on wearing a huge bracelet?
Jim says:(1:51 PM)
didn't say that
Mike says:(1:51 PM)
is a cockring a bracelet?  technically?
Sam says:(1:52 PM)
Mike says:(1:52 PM)
i can barely concentrate
Sam says:(1:53 PM)
i can't get Jim's cockring out of my head
Mike says:(1:53 PM)
on anything other than cockrings
Jim says:(1:53 PM)
Sam says:(1:54 PM)
Jim's cockring payment
Mike says:(1:54 PM)
i know right... ok...lets do this without talking
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
omg. have we been talking
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
i've never anticipate typing cockrings more in my life
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
more, yes
Jim says:(1:55 PM)
yes, pated
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
ok ok ok Lois whatever...I need to type cockrings...youre killing my comedic timing
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
Sam says:(1:56 PM)
Mike says:(1:56 PM)
oh fuck my liver hurts
or whatever that is
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
so now I pretty much have to get a cockring and bang it around on the desk.
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
rules is rules
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
can't argue with that
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
i see no other alternative
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
they will be like the department masks
we'll hang them on our desks
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
"what's THAT"
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
and when they're not hanging on our desks, you'll know it's special day
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
"Oh, my Departmental cockring"
Sam says:(1:58 PM)
ok, bocce tourney, everyone put their cockrings on
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
dont have to tell me twice
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
god, and Larry isn't even involved in this msn
Mike says:(1:59 PM)
i know
MSN would catch fire
he'll read about it on the blog
Sam says:(2:00 PM)
he'll hear about it when Jim bangs his cockring on his desk tomorrow
Mike says:(2:01 PM)
well this certainly killed that super bored feeling I had
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
are you busy browsing for your ring now
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
dare you
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
so?  Jim?  safe?
Jim says:(2:02 PM)
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
yeah, it's safe
they only provide the best cockrings available in canada
3 year guarantee
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
for discolouration?
Sam says:(2:03 PM)
30 money back guarantee
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
your cockring takes batteries?!?
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
yours doesn't?
Mike says:(2:04 PM)
no, it does
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
110v cockring
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
just when you think this convo is done

Oct 29, 2012

One track mind...

Sam says:
i was thinking "anal"
Mike says:

Jun 13, 2012


*Dude walks into the office all confused*
Dude says:
It's like a maze down here!
Mike says: (12:55 PM)
its a square
Jim says: (12:55 PM)
well, that's a maze
Mike says: (12:55 PM)
a really fucking easy one
Maze Level: 1

May 29, 2012

Wish Upon a Starr

Mike says:
see that?
planted a seed and now we're living in an episode of the View
Frank says:
you need an overweight black chick tho...
Mike says:
do I ever
Frank says: