MSN of a higher class

Larry
can't you say "I say old man, why don't we just go for a post of tea, why not! Now, I've been lead to belive you have taken a bit of a fancy for my MacBook Pro. Now, old man, it'd be an awfully good sport of you if you'd just sod off, you know."
Larry
i've been reading some Evelyn Waugh
Larry
apparently you english folks really talked like that in WW2
Sam
Look old man, some of us chaps still do talk like that. A fine state we'd be in if we all talked the way you yanks do. No, no, that would never do. More tea?
Larry
It's a right sporting way of conversing, if I may say so myself. May I? Mayn't I? Good show then. And I think I'll have a bit more of the Darjeely if you have any. Sharp as tacks, those punjabs to make such a spot on drink as tea, dont' you think?
Sam
It certainly hits the spot. You know, I was telling Maud the other day, wasn't I Maud, you can't beat a good cup of char. Not much use for anything else those punjabs, but they make a fine cuppa, What's that Maud?
Larry
Oh Maud is always spouting about the latest thing isn't she just? Such a card she is. Now say old man, what say we take a few days off and watch the semi-qualifying rounds for the 2007 Cricket Championships. I daresay there is a new bowler for Pakistan, he's got an arm he does.
Sam
Champion idea old bean. I'll have Maud knock us up some sandwiches and a few cakes for afternoon tea and perhaps a flask of Earl Grey. I say, I don't much fancy our boys chances out there against those Pakistanis. It's the food you know.
Larry
yeah, i'm pretty sure i can't keep this up

Change Agency!

Sam
then you can give them a demo
Sam
GB may have questions
Larry
may
Sam
you may need a strategy to deal with that
Larry
taht doesn't include punching him in the nards
Sam
first i recommend determining what kind of person he is, you know a what, why, big picture, etc and then tailoring you demo to him
Sam
good luck
Larry
haha
Larry
Just a birds eye view. Maybe whiteboard a few scenarios, communicate with a few stakeholders to tap into their domain expertise. Then maybe get a stand up meeting to figure how you want to comprehensively co-author the proper directives to enable fast and end-to-end change agency.
Sam
i sure hope Mike is getting all this
Sam
he's awfully quiet, i guess he is working on his demo

Hold. Still.

Sam
Neon wants CC and Noir to experiment
Sam
oh, my eyes, my eyes
Larry
hehhe, hawt!
Sam
ok, so you put this end of the tube there and i'll just....
Larry
hold a minute. JUST HOLD A MINUTE THERE
Larry
I haven't got it set UP! HOLD IT IN!! HOLD IT IN!!!!
Larry
damn, it's all slipperynow, i'll never get a grip on it
Sam
don't move, DON"T MOVE
Larry
maybe if i hold it in my teeth

Bloody shit

Jim:
I think I'm outta here.
Mike:
rgr
Jim:
if I stay it will be unpleasant for everybody involved.
Jim:
hopefully I don't pull a TinTin.
Mike:
i need money for lunch
Mike:
ahhh family
Larry:
you sick Jim?
Mike:
no YOU sick Jim
Larry:
or dracula is getting to you?
Jim:
stomach fuxored
Jim:
haha. yeah, if I stay the blood will be unpleasant for everybody.
Larry:
ah
Mike:
ah...like dinner time at my house
Jim:
hahah
Sam:
images, images
Larry:
blood and explosive diarrhea, sounds like a win for everyone involved
Mike:
wii lunch?
Jim:
plus if I puke I owe Apu 10 bucks
Mike:
i KNEW it
Sam:
if you puke, make it towards dracula
Mike:
yeah make him choke on it
Sam:
and i'll refund the $10
Jim:
ok. now I am going to puke.
Mike:
puke in his mouth while youre french kssing him
Sam:
i didn't say kiss him and ...
Larry:
jeeesus
Jim:
------------------ <-- line
Larry:
i turna way for a second and we have vomit homosexual french kissing
Mike:
and then with the diarrhea...
Sam:
did you not see the line
Larry:
EXPLOSIVE
Mike:
(sranwrap...you know...the usual)
Jim:





























Mike
Larry:
what line?
Larry:
except, without teh sarawrap
Mike:
so anyways...to make a solid (so to speak) Manhattan Transfer....
Larry:
heat transfers better without that barrier of plastic
Larry:
and to the urban dictinoary i go
Mike:
you dont have to email me pete
Larry:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=manhattan+transfer
Larry:
oh for FUCK's sake
Larry:
it just gets worst
Larry:
3 and 4.....
Mike:
#6
Sam:
"Stephen gave me a Manhattan Transfer after hearing my story about the Holocaust."
Jim:
He gave her a manhattan transfer, allowing the free flow of feces between the two of them.
Sam:
wtf
Sam:
the example should make sense, surely
Mike:
Stephen gave me a Manhattan Transfer after hearing my story about the Holocaust.
Mike:


A man and a woman get into the "69" position and unload a nice thick log into each others mouth.
Mike:
just had to paste that
Larry:
nice thick log.
Jim:
ok.
Jim:
I'm definitely out.
Larry:
man, i'll never be able to read up on forestry news ever again
Mike:
Travis wanted to try a Manhattan Transfer but we didn't have a straw so he just farted on my balls.
Larry:
two anal cavities...
Larry:
HAHAHAH
Sam:
i now understand what Mike is trying to do with the hackey sack
Jim:
fuckin travis.
Mike:
haha
Jim has left the conversation.


Larry:
and with the straw
Sam:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Lincoln+tunnel
Sam:
Mike is attempting to combine this with the Manhattan transfer
Mike:
well duh
Larry:
so.. .. uh. yeah.

Pwnd!

216 is laughable

Jim says:
134 biznatch
Sam says:
bastard
Sam says:
game on
Sam says:
133, fuck!
Jim says:
327
Sam says:
damn, 213
Sam says:
give me a break
Jim says:
haha
Sam says:
Mike's 216 seems laughable now
Jim says:
yes, it does.
Sam says:
381

Jim says:
damn
Jim says:
you must have a sore wrist.

Not non hell

Sam:
noisy people are so annoying
Mike:
the worst part is that Star Trek Alien thinks she's helping
Sam:
it's ok if you are funny noisy, but just noisy, booooo
Mike:
she has no fucking clue how to turn on her computer
Sam:
she is not non annoying me
Mike:
Do you wish you were giving birth right now?
Mike:
or swinging a basebat bat?
Sam:
hahaha
Mike:
i find her definitely non irr-annoying
Mike:
fuck
Sam:
this is more painful than child birth
Mike:
i gotta get rid of that
Mike:
and now Hag is here
Mike:
thats like the finishing move
Mike:
Hag and Star Trek Alien
Sam:
i imagine this is what it sounds like in hell
Mike:
killer
Mike:
haha

Bloc Rules

1. Tintin shall be browbeaten relentlessly.
2. Larry is not addicted to gin, he only prefers it to water.
3. Any mention of football will always be assumed to be the British understanding of it. Not what those poncy Americans would have you believe.
4. Mike's children are known as either 'promising stuntmen' or 'those great excuses for buying Gameboys and other gamesystems that no straight man would allow himself within 100 meters of'.
5. Do not taunt Jim's Prius.
6. Do not hack Jim's Prius.
7. It's generally understood that you do not bring up Mike's failed audition for "Way Fast, Way Furious, The Revenge of the Sprint".
8. It's good form to wait until Larry has finished his 3000 word msn response to a one line quip.
9. Jim loves children. Far, far away from him.
10. Sam keeps a lead pipe under his desk for anyone who doesn't share his opinion of football. He doesn't even have the decency to clean the blood and slightly dried brains from it.
11. All msn conversations will eventually degrade to a point where those with the weakest stomach for auto-erotic asphixiation with a oranguatan nail-file will quit.
12. Those weakest will be added until all and every possible disgusting reference can be hashed out in detail.

AFK

Jim
Larrys not even there...
Mike
his Mom will read this
Jim
he has the liquid bird thing going
Sam
just putting his muumuu on
Mike
and clipboard full of overwritten sentences
Jim
and a pit bull hanging from his throat
Mike
two birds...ctrl and V

Trousers

Larry
so, yeah, you still owe me a Blog Topic
Sam
i'm still thinking
Sam
why do they still make trousers, sorry pants, with button up flys
Sam
i mistakenly bought a pair
Sam
they have a belt on that is a bugger to undo as well
Sam
so now when i go to the washroom i run the risk of someone seeing me grunting and groaning with my crotch as i try to unbutton/button up my fly
Sam
it's no better if i use the cubicle, in fact i think its worse
Sam
see my head above the door as i thrash around mumbling "get in there" to that last stubborn button....not good
Larry
hahhAHHHAhAhaHAHHA

Great minds think alike.

Jim Says:
man. breakfast was good.
Jim Says:
I really needed that.
Jim Says:
I'll buy you breakfast tomorrow at the pendulum... definitely worthwhile.
Mike Says:
haha
Mike Says:
nice
Mike Says:
i accept
Jim Says:
it's a date then - 8:30 at the pendulum
Mike Says:
werd
Jim Says:                  Mike Says:
you better put out.    will I have to put out?

Wrap It

Mike
fuckin uber comment complete
Larry
holy shit that's a long comment
Mike
thats what she said
Mike
you can basically wrap that in java tags and release it
Larry
hahahahHAHAH
Larry
yeah, the good old java tags
Mike
hahaha
Larry
is there anything they can't do?
Larry
fuck, i'm LOLing over here
Mike
hahah

Lurid Details

Larry
Mike, my apple laptop is here! can you go dog the bounty hunter on it?
Mike
hahaha
Mike
i should put him in a chicken wing
Larry
is that with the pepper spray or without?
Mike
chicken wing with a full face press against the wall
Mike
top of the shoulder holding his skull still
Larry
uh.. hey now.. no need to get into the lurid details
Mike
then I'd slowly unzip his pants....
Larry
i'm sure there will be sweating, maybe a few tentative games of leapfrog, i don't need to know

Apple Customer Support

Mike
Dear iTunes,

PLease play my CD without fucking copying the entire fucking thing to the hardrive.
Mike
Thanks,
Mike
Larry
Dear Mike,
We are Apple. We make brand identity over priced and mega hyped products for you iLife and digital E-Future. We know what's best for you. You better get used to the idea that everything we think of and consider, even if it is a steaming jetstream of diarhea, is goddamn cool because we'll put it in clear plastic and use a slighly grey Arial fucking font.
Apple
Mike
i-future asshole

pardon my french.

mike says:
fuck
mike says:
regi status
mike says:
need in vw
jim says:
fuck. I thought it was there.
mike says:
fuck. Its not
jim says:
fuck. I thought it was.
mike says:
fuck. You thought wrong
jim says:
fuck. it is.
jim says:
fuck. it's regn_status_code
jim says:
fuck, you fucking fuck.
mike says:
fuck. Im an idiot
mike says:
fuck. I couldnt pull toad up fast enough
jim says:
fuck. hahaha

Friends of the Staffroom strike again.

Sam Says:
we will be twinning it with a staffroom in Kyoto soon
Sam Says:
hahah
Larry Says:
twinning?
Larry Says:
oh. ahah
Jim Says:
"sister staffroom with University of ButtFuck Japan"
Larry Says:
sorry, took a bit of a leap for me there.i can only shudder at the 'gathering' of 3 people who are going to be eating cake morosely while making safe and non-committal comments about some blurry shot of a daffodil

The Understated Ambiton Of The British

Larry
what's youre take on it?
i'm pretty ambivalent
Sam
oh i'm all for it
i'm so on that team
Highly Technical But Pragmatically Foolish Technologydo interest me, purely because they are new and probably a good thing to have on your cv
Larry
uhhh
i can't argue with that... but.. uh.. i dunno
i'm confused now
Sam
i don't want to join really
Larry
sorry, i know your real feelings on the matter
Sam
it will involve lots of travelling and meetings and shit
Larry
i know your reserved british ways will not allow you to admit your ardour for all thigns Highly Technical But Pragmatically Foolish Technology and High Minded and Idealized Corridor to Mountains of Bureacracy . i will be your advocate.
Sam
plus we'll have a bunch of tards working on it too
Larry
no matter what your protestations. i will be steadfast. on that you can count.
Larry
i will summon on my email writing skills (of which there is not much), and beseech all the powers that be that you are indeed, the best and first choice for both taking over john's position as head of Highly Technical But Pragmatically Foolish Technologyas well as being the 'go-to' man on High Minded and Idealized Corridor to Mountains of Bureacracy
Larry
fear not. your desires shall be made known. shall be shouted from teh proverbial hills until those with the powers to change your fates have taken heed.
Larry
what good fortune you do have in having a dear friend as myself
Sam
maybe i should sit next to Josh as well
Larry
championing your inner desires and ambitions
Larry
that shall be done!
Larry
nest to the man from the Celestial Lands you will be.
Sam
haha
Larry
i hve a strong urging to empty my lower humours into the porcelain cistern, i shall return
Sam
i will now write me own message on my board "19 days to go"
Larry
19 days until your ascension into the halls of power that you so crave.

There's a new sherrif in town.

Mike says:
man..i am teetering on the brink of anal leakage
Jim says:
uh
Mike says:
about to stamp out some rusty sherrifs badges soon

Scratching your head or your ass?

Mike says:
devl is soooooFUCKWED!
Mike says:
-W
Mike says:
cant add courses at all
Sam says:
no it's fuckweded alright
Mike says:
heheh
Sam says:
nice early start by the cardinal
Mike says:
hahah
Mike says:
probably spent the morning removing his head from his ass
Mike says:
then again...maybe not
Mike says:
TRYING to
Sam says:
first he spent an hour wondering why his put his head up there in the first place
Mike says:
hahahah

Humour is in the eye of the be.holder

Sam says:
Connection con = null;
con = DBAccess.getConnection();
DUInstructor.updateEmail(con, email, id);
Sam says:
i refuse to close my connections
Jim says:
hehe