New Folks In The Room

Larry
man, haven't seen a chick in a bikini all day
when i get home it'll have ot be hardcore donkey on chimpanzee action for 3 hours straight just to catchup
Mike
been there
Larry
oh i know, star of Cabarle Fuentes Does a Donkey IV, XI and XX
Mike "the OOK!" Smith
Mike
OOK is the sound the donkey makes...
Larry
OOK OOK OOK
or the sound you make when the dozen frozen bananas are rammed home
Mike
sideways
Larry
well, you've been in the business a while
Mike
"I cant feel anything, try them sideways"
"No, just leave those ones in there"
Larry
"Can you, uh, connect them to a current or something?"
fuck we need quieter keyboards
Mike
hahah

TWICE

Mike
thanks again for saving all them asses
Larry
no sweat
HOT STUFF
Mike
*wink wink*
Larry
WE ALREADY MADE OUR BLOG POST TODAY SHUDDAP
Mike
I'd like to put my penis in your bum if you know what I mean
and jam it in and out (wink wink)
Larry
damnit
gotta load up the blog AGAIN.
Mike
hahaha

Needy

Larry says:
ah, the message queue is hanging
shits in there, waiting to be picked up and processed
Mike says:
that makes sense
like my love for you
Larry says:
if blindfold, chloroform and a silverback in heat don't say I LOVE YOU TOO, Mike, then nothing ever will
needy fucker

Magic Ticket

Mike
scab labour
damn dude
you did that ARGLE shit?
mofo
Larry
yeah.. why?
Mike
i woulda buried that one
no habla english
Larry
OUTLOOK WENT DOWN. AGAIN!
!
Mike
hahah
Larry
i'll look back at it when. OH INTERNET DONW
Mike
only for ARGLE emails
it was weird
Larry
yeah, i dunno, put a IT ticket in
Mike
haha
Your Magic Ticket number is...
Larry
G
we are number 3
Mike
hah
ok XXpm dude
its Friday
Larry
later dude
Mike
GTFO
Larry
/me dry humps MIke's leg
SWEET

For Paternity Leave

Sam
hey, who is in tomorrow
Mike
he is?
Larry
i'm not sure
Mike
great
POINT
YOU STUPID FUCK~!
Sam
hehe
Larry
do you have his calendar?
Sam
not sure, Larry
well even if who is in, i'm in too
Mike
yeah we both need to be here
Larry's taking Friday at home
AGAIN
Sam
AGAIN
does he flex monday
Larry
you fucking bet, retards
Mike
how many fucking flex days do you get?
Sam
as many as he wants
Larry
not enough to get away from you, and stop sucking my cock, Mike
man, what is it with you and your homo tendencies?
does this studded leather gstring NOT scare you off?
Sam
he's not a homo, he's a faggot
Mike
fuck you
Larry
how is he a bundle of wood or kindling used to fire a stove?
i would Mike, but you've already blown me three times today, i'm exhausted
you saved money on lunch, so i guess there's that
Mike
my skin craves your man gravy
Larry
it's what gives it its luminous glow
Sam
i'm regretting starting this convo
Mike
sheen
Sam
how did we get here from who
Larry
OVER YOUR FACE?
sorry, chest, we are gentlemen
Sam
anyway, so when are you working at home then Mike
Mike
Thurs I guess
Sam
just one day
Mike
sure
Sam
k
Mike
were about to take 2 weeks off
Larry
i can work from home for two days, sigh.
Mike
we all might be home on Friday
Sam
i'm in the rest of the week
true
Larry
in what?
Mike
your Mom
BLOGZORZ!

Tennis

Jim
y'all heading to the bbq soon?>
Larry
ya
Larry
you going?
Jim
neg
Mike
giant fag
Jim
hey, I'm not the one with a tennis racket up my ass.
Mike
sure youre not
Jim
is my webcam on?
Mike
hahah
Sam
a tennis racket is not a cock
Jim
new meaning to "working from home"
Sam
that doesn't make him a fag
Jim
just sporty.
Sam
working it home
Mike
hahaha
Jim
that's almost bloggable

Condolences

Sam
when i die you guys have to write some funny shit on my card
Jim
"What's this about leap frogging?"
Jim
haha. ok
Larry
"I can't believe he died with that much KY up his HOOHA"
Larry
"Midgets are jealous lovers, who knew?"
Jim
haha. and here I thought I'd gone too far.
Larry
"Fucking tigers, can't train them, can't properly operate a strap-on, AMIRITE?!"
Sam
you can never go too far when Larry is around
Larry
until the dildo hits pubic bone
Larry
then you gotta stop

Club

Mike
poor poor Mary Jo
Larry
who is she and why is she poor?
Mike
you'll find out eventually
Sam
why does it have to be the 25/35 year club
Jim
is that similar to the mile-high club?
Sam
i'd feel cheated if a 25 yearer could join my club
Mike
haha
Jim
35 years of getting fucked by Corp.?
Mike
hahahahah
Sam
fucking the Corp. dog, you mean
Mike
heey..we're doing a pretty good job of the pitchin right now
Larry
the Corp. dog is a slut, though, in her defense
Sam
she?
Mike
hahha
Mike
in my mind, the dog is a guy
Larry
whatever helps you keep it up
Sam
hahahaha
Jim
hahaha
Larry
i ain't gonna judge you, you sick fuck.
Mike
rough day
Mike
cant stop laughing
Sam
that is almost blog worthy
Mike
dooo eeett

Hydraulic Lifts

Construction guys working a hydraulic lift of some sort outside the office.

Larry
they be fucking WORKING those hydraulic lifts for REALS
Mike
haha....they're probably just giggling away...UP,UP,UP...DOWN,DOWN,DOWN
Larry
HEE HEE!
Larry
ookoko,
Larry
now go down
Larry
OMFG THAT"S SO COOL
Larry
okookokk.. try up
Larry
IT"S LIKE I"M FLYYYING!
Mike
STOP STOP STOP!!
Mike
ok sorry...i got scared
Larry
hahahahaha

Suspicious Guy

Mike says:
oh sure
Mike says:
suspicious caucasion
Mike says:
is that like an auspicious occasion?
Mike says:
I noticed that he toched himself every 37 seconds
Mike says:
touched
Mike says:
torched
Mike says:
w/e
Sam says:
and i heard him jerking off in the washroom
Mike says:
She sounds really fuckin busy up there
Sam says:
He looked like a student in 3rd or 4th year. 
Sam says:
what do they look like
Mike says:
caucasian-y
Sam says:
he rejected her hit on him and now she wants pay back
Sam says:
an uncomfortable smile
Sam says:
some odd woman starts chatting to him, i don't blame him
Mike says:
sat on a chair near counselling services....
Mike says:
um...
Mike says:
maybe he's fucking nuts?
Sam says:
when he hangs himself she is going feel really shitty
Mike says:
haha
Mike says:
Please be aware of any suspicious individuals lurking around your work areas. And keep valuables locked up.

Welcome Back

Mike
lets catch Jim up to speed
Mike
You guys were gonna pair me up with your Moms
Sam
and then card asked you for buttsecks
Jim
sweet.
Jim
can get some of that action?
Jim
the moms, not the buttsecks
Mike
im torn
Mike
(tm)
Larry
after card, you certainly are
Jim
haha
Mike
oh? Does he have a large cock, Larry?
Sam
no, you have a little hole
Jim
er, had
Larry
naw, you just pucker when your scared and excited
Sam
you told us earlier, when you asked Jim to get out of it
Mike
ask me what a cockway is
Larry
and he was like
Larry
'almost done! but it's like a COCKRING in here'
Larry
cannon's blocked, as it were
Mike
see? This is what has been missing
Larry
penis unable to deliver semen payload, is another way to say it
Sam
i don't think this has been missing
Larry
he can't cum up your shitpipe, is another
Mike
oh yeah?
Larry
even i'm laughing at that
Mike
see above
Larry
my fingers, they type funny things
Sam
ok, ok
Larry
WHY ISN"T THIS BEING BLOGGEd!?
Mike
cuz youre too busy with your online reading material
Larry
there is alot
Sam
some one should be populating it

Fuck the French

Jim says:
was just going to add that both Sam and I tried XXX2 server earlier when we were getting the 1822 error, and it failed too.
Jim says:
so something has changed between then and now.
Mike says:
the URL 'fix'
Jim says:
but if that's what broke it in the first place....
Jim says:
I don't think we'll ever know.
Mike says:
yeah
Mike says:
I'd be happy with wtf 1822 means
Jim says:
you'd think somebody knows.
Jim says:
maybe I'll send them the french version of their error:
Mike says:
it's like dealing with us
Mike says:
hahaha
Jim says:
Désolé, nous ne pouvons pas traiter votre demande. Veuillez retourner au site du marchand.

Jim says:
hahahha
Jim says:
[Erreur #1822]
Mike says:
with a "Hey voulez-vous regardez, mutherfuckers" attached
Jim says:
hahaha
Mike says:
thye'll be all like "OH! Mon deur!! Erruer 1822. oui oui!"
Jim says:
"I told zem we already got one"
Mike says:
HAHA
Mike says:
i just loled
Jim says:
haha
Jim says:
me too
Mike says:
Larry says:
what the fuck are you laughing about over there, Gigglesworth?
Jim says:
haha

Donkey Riding

Sam says:
"In Spain we have a saying, you cannot ride the donkey and suck his cock all at the same time" - No Heroics
Mike says:
hahaha
Jim says:
hahah
Sam says:
"You know what I'm saying"
Jim says:
I finally watched the first one.
Jim says:
it was ok
Jim says:
but not great
Sam says:
yeah
Jim says:
do they get better?
Sam says:
not really
Sam says:
they have the odd really funny moment
Sam says:
they are worth watching....at work
Larry says:
you know what's surpsingly funny? Two and 1/2 Men
Sam says:
really?
Larry says:
some of their dialogue sounds like it was pulled from prodblog
Larry says:
yeah, i was shocked
Larry says:
it looks all wholesome
Mike says:
http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/ele/891765188.html
Mike says:
Im thinking $350 which includes the mount
Jim says:
what do you want a new monitor for?
Mike says:
the kitchen
Jim says:
as a tv?
Mike says:
yeah
Jim says:
ah
Larry says:
he wants anything that includes the word 'mount'
Mike says:
like as in mount your mother?
Jim says:
but remember, you can't mount his mother and suck her cock at the same time.
Jim says:
see what I did there?
Sam says:
nice work
Mike says:
i see what you did thee
Mike says:
re
Larry says:
the saddest day for Child Mike was when his parents took him to see the mounties
Larry says:
totally not what he expected
Mike says:
you made fun of Larry's mom's cock
Sam says:
i see that being used quite a lot
Sam says:
Larry's mom's cock...i mean
Jim says:
hahah
Larry says:
to be fair, it's got some GIRTH on it
Larry says:
if you can't open up the chocolate starfish enough to take in that python of spunk, that's YOUR problem
Mike says:
um...the chocolate starfish is on your underwear
Mike says:
get it right
Larry says:
mine might be
Jim says:
I thought the rusty sherrif's badge was on your underwear.
Larry says:
yorus is wrapped around my mom's ginormous cock
Mike says:
it is
Mike says:
right beside the chocolate starfish
Mike says:
here...
Mike says:
lemme shoew you

The Gift of Faith

Larry
hey fucknuts
Larry
what are you getting rambozo?
Mike
beats me
Mike
ask Mrs. Mike
Larry
so, it's not a coupon for Free Hugs then?
Mike
maybe some body condoms
Sam
what?
Mike
coupons will work
Sam
you really do practice safe sex
Sam
but you are catholic, wtf
Mike
i am
Mike
NOT
Sam
you are
Mike
shutupshutupashutoip
Sam
don't deny your faith
Sam
peace be with you
Mike
and aslo with yo---HEY
Sam
i'm not catholic, mother fucker
Larry
fuck, that Sam is a sly one

Sam pwns Jim

Sam says:
awesome boat http://withleather.uproxx.com/?p=10222
Jim says:
I dunno..
Jim says:
the sub can only go to 160 feet
Jim says:
pretty pathetic
Sam says:
how deep can your sub go, motherfucker
Jim says:
as deep as my imagination wants.
Sam says:
so like 20 feet
Mike says:
hahahaha
Jim says:
roughly
Mike says:
lemme check...yup! Thats a burn

Replacements

Larry

you guys do good work

Larry

i'm glad to be part of this team, to look like i'm doing something

Jim

yeah, this team easily accomplishes as much as one really hard working person could.

Larry

working part time

Jim

we really should slow it down a bit.

Sam

and not that hard

Larry

and not so much as person

Larry

as a highly talented monkey

Larry

with asperger's syndrome.

Sam

highly?

Jim

and not really highly.

Larry

moderately.

Jim

or talented

Larry

slightly above average.

Jim

or a monkey. 

Jim

more like a mongoose

Larry

large, sentient sea sponge then.

Jim

perfect.

Sam

a very dim mongoose

Sam

lazy

Larry

with rabies.

Larry

also, dead.

4 Degrees of Retardation

Larry says:
WTF are you guys talkiing about
Mike says:
yes. It is cool
Jim says:
nothing jerry, nothing.
Mike says:
backabed Jerry
Larry says:
this degrees does NOTHING
Mike says:
its weird....you'd think a biology degree would be more effective in our environment
Mike says:
what with Jim's desk
Larry says:
i know not to get to close.
Larry says:
no, imean my REAL degree fuckface
Sam says:
fucking common sense tells you that
Larry says:
'Writin' n Shit'
Larry says:
nonon
Larry says:
MY DEGREE tells me that
Sam says:
mine tells me you are close to exceeding your bandwidth
Larry says:
huh?
Jim says:
would you guys stfu or I'll come over there and Kick Some Ass
Mike says:
im using mine to the fullest right now
Sam says:
you can't be bothered
Jim says:
hmm. got me there.
Mike says:
two degrees?
Mike says:
Did you pick up a Bachelor of Boredom too?
Mike says:
Major in ennui
Jim says:
no, I have a major in Not Caring.
Larry says:
I MINORED IN THAT!
Jim says:
does anybody have a degree hanging in their office?
Jim says:
that we could replace
Jim says:
without them knowing 
Sam says:
we know Gerrard doesn't
Larry says:
hahahahhHAHAH
Mike says:
well...you could do that shit to Neo, but the fun would be lost when he retires and takes it home
Mike says:
never noticing
Jim says:
we could replace Neo's with a picture of a pig and he'd never notice
Mike says:
hahah...we should just hang some porn in there
Mike says:
People would sit down....look behind him at the wall
Mike says:
and wonder if they should say something
Mike says:
like:
Mike says:
"Is that a horse?"
Mike says:
fucking gold
Sam says:
Larry should be writing this shit
Larry says:
fuck
Mike says:
like that ad for the Christian Net Nanny
Larry says:
i got a degree to give you motherfucker.
Mike says:
and the comments afterwards
Mike says:
"Whatya lookin at Dad?"
Mike says:
"Just some horses"
Jim says:
hahah
Larry says:
'why is that poor lady grimacing?'
Mike says:
"That'sa smile, Son"
Larry says:
"Is she pooing out that horses ding dong?"
Mike says:
all
Mike says:
subtley
Mike says:
lost
Mike says:
how do you spell subtley
Mike says:
?
Sam says:
Larry probably knows how to spell it
Jim says:
goog question.
Larry says:
CUNT
Mike says:
fancy slang
Mike says:
fine Ill google it
Jim says:
that's not how you spell it.
Jim says:
and cunt ain't that fancy
Mike says:
that depends who you hang out with

Well....maybe you can.

Sam says:
Jim is not typing
Sam says:
i think he wants to see us jerk off
Jim says:
I've been hoping for that for the past 6 years...
Jim says:
why else would I spend time here
Jim says:
let me help you out.

Jim has left the conversation.

Mike says:
i thought for sure we were gonna get jacked off

You can't beat me......off.

Sam says:
Jim left
Sam says:
Jim thinks we're mean
Mike says:
he's still there
Sam says:
mine says he left
Mike says:
mine says he's still there
Sam says:
he's not typing anything
Mike says:
we can probably argue this for a while
Sam says:
how can we settle it
Mike says:
hand jobs
Sam says:
[PROD] Jim has left the conversation.
Sam says:
i don't see, oh ok
Mike says:
whoever wins first
Sam says:
but do we really need to jerk off each other
Mike says:
yes
Sam says:
if only Jim was type something
Mike says:
i think thats the point
Mike says:
the selling point
Sam says:
was would
Mike says:
was would?
Mike says:
wtf?
Sam says:
see my previous sentence
Sam says:
i really think we should include the other guys
Mike says:
if only Jim was would type something?
Sam says:
he's not here
Mike says:
are you trying to distract me while you beat me off?

BUMP in the road

Mike says:
Larry...need an acronym for BUMP
Larry says:
in relation to what?
Mike says:
the bumpy release this week
Mike says:
the BUMP in the release
Larry says:
k
Mike says:
you know the 40 foot gaping fucking pothol;e
Sam says:
our releases are always smooooth
Larry says:
Business User-centric Mandated Procedures
Mike says:
smooth like Cardinal in a club with the ladies
Mike says:
good Larry..now relate it to our release
Sam says:
it needs to mean fuck up
Larry says:
Bi-annual Unmediated Multi-user Problem
Mike says:
way to dumb it down Sam
Sam says:
on major fucking proportions
Larry says:
i thought brits weren't allowed to swear like that
Sam says:
been hanging around with Cheech too much
Sam says:
erm
Larry says:
heh
Larry says:
FUCK YOU BITCH
Mike says:
hhshsh
Sam says:
he is deep in thought now
Mike says:
thought...is that what they're calling it these days?
Larry says:
SHUT UP STUPID HEAD
Sam says:
Larry has a stupid head and a smart head
Larry says:
Baseless Unintended Multi-user Peer-challenge
Mike says:
ghey
Larry says:
ha! fooled you
Larry says:
Business User Multifractional Problem
Mike says:
Bitches Unintentionally Mangled Production
Larry says:
oh, something less formal
Sam says:
problem is not strong enough
Larry says:
but youc an't really use 'unintentionally', can you?
Mike says:
unknowingly
Mike says:
Btang Uisa Mfuck Pup
Larry says:
clever