Mar 19, 2016

Another Brick in the Wall

Quee: shockers had a good pep talk at the half
Mike: fack
Mike: Villanova will avenge me!
Quee:i'm so white that i had to google "always reppin"
Mike: haha
Whick: Ha. So white.
Whick: So…what does it mean brother?
Mike: it means that they sat on the bench at the 2016 march madness and all they got was this lousy t-shirt
Quee:hahaaha
Whick: Nice
Quee: you have to google it yourself Whick. Google is gathering information on who the whitest people in the world are. you get to join me in their database
Quee: if you also google "who is drake?" you then get to join the whitest canadian club too
Whick: Is he related to Drizzy?
Quee:haha... dammit you made me google!
Plick: Nike has shirts ready for the regional winners after they win and ripping the net off... Yes... Always rip pin'
Plick: I is not good at grammar.
Whick: Never stop a shuffling
Whick: Speaking of white. Yale vs Duke.
Quee:next year I'll have to pick Georgetown #1 to earn some street cred
Plick: That is the whitest matchup
Whick: Trump is building a wall around the court as we speak. And will appear on the court at halftime. Start his new country from there.
Mike: fucking lol
Quee: wall made out of gold
Mike: LOL
Quee: the black guys can build it
Quee: too far?
Plick: Cause they're tall right
Whick: Mexicans build the base.
Quee:hahahahah
Mike: hahaha
Whick: This chat is off the record right?
Mike: getting word from my lawyer now...
Quee: google tracks this chat too
Mike: i hope so
Mike: comedy gold
Quee: we will all be offered Trump cabinet positions after they read this one

Feb 21, 2014

Clever title

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

May 23, 2013

The Application of Imagination


Mike: gimme 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: go
Jim .: the online application is bad.
Sam: it is very bad.
Mike: 2 each lazy bastards
Jim .: it is very bad.
Sam: the online application is bad.
Mike: ahahaha
Jim .: job fucking done.
Mike: congratulations on meeting the minimum requirements
Jim .: "the online application is the worst thing I've ever seen on the web"
Sam: true dat
Mike: make bank
Jim .: and that includes dancing hamsters
Mike: well why wouldnt it?
Sam: now you give us 2 sentences each about how bad the online application is
Mike: Would you say that the paper version of the online app was 30 feet long?
Mike: or just 20?
Mike: I'm leaning towards 30
Jim .: there's a paper version of the online app?  uh...
Mike: remember the one I printed out and taped to the wall and ceiling and wall and floor?
Jim .: oh yeah
Jim .: at least 30
Sam: says the guy whose submarine only goes 20ft deep
Mike: yeah, what the fuck do you know about measurements?
Sam: i'd say 30 too
Jim .: I thought I just imagined a submarine that goes 20 ft deep.
Mike: hahhaha
Sam: so now you're saying you don't even have a submarine, jeez
Mike: what next?  No Santa Claus?
Jim .: I'm not saying that.
Jim .: maybe i have a submarine that goes 10 feet deep.
Jim .: but I could imagine one that went 20
Mike: i doubt that...
Mike: its a stretch
Sam: why are you suddenly asking about online app anyway?
Jim .: don't you know there's no more development on admissions stuff pending implementation of Kuali?
Mike: Shiran needs numbers to help build a case against the way admissions does things
Mike: so that Tribal can build us an app
Mike: or somesuch
Mike: im sure
Mike: allegedly
Jim .: uh
Jim .: how is that possibly Shiran's job?
Mike: the amount of time we spend on hotfixes and maintence
Mike: =Shiran
Mike: mmm maintence
Sam: well i hope the 30ft number helps
Mike: im pretty sure thats the number they were looking for
Sam: maybe put it in cm, it has more impact, 900cm
Jim .: I couldn't imagine an online app being 30 ft long.
Mike: full circle
Sam: i'd say it was also about 6ft wide
Sam: so basically its a 30' x 6' app
Jim .: that's as big as some vancouver apartments.
Mike: Jim...reach into your magic SQL bag and give me the number of abandoned apps since September 2012
Jim .: we have an online app you could live in!
Mike: hahah
Jim .: 42
Mike: thx
Mike: i was imagining about 7
Mike: so thats great
Sam: that's 42 ft
Mike: 42 odd foot of abandoned applications
Sam: that can't be right
Mike: thats only about 1 and a half
Jim .: loling too much
Mike: i heard
Mike: Hi Shiran,
We're looking at about 42 feet and 12 ounces of abandoned applications
Sam: Just paste this convo in for her
Mike: hahaha
Mike: Our online application consumes 72 litres of webspace

Jan 29, 2013

Lord of the Rings


Mike says:(1:43 PM)
i want to play the comebacker so bad right now
just so that his fucking bracelets leave that desktop
Sam says:(1:43 PM)
you don't like his bling
Sam says:(1:44 PM)
i'm want to play because i am sooo bored
Mike says:(1:44 PM)
hahah
the sound of his bling grinding against the table is abso-fucking-lutely maddening
Mike says:(1:45 PM)
he also has the loudest scroll wheel on planet earth
Sam says:(1:45 PM)
but the thought of it....
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
aahhhhhhh ffuuuucckkkk
Sam says:(1:46 PM)
now you have made me notice it
Mike says:(1:46 PM)
losing my shit
no srsly... do you have a bran muffin?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
what do don't want any more 2% increases?
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
hahaha
how to pay for the muffins?  Vicious circle
Jim says:(1:47 PM)
is that a double positive negative?
Sam says:(1:47 PM)
ok, i'm going for a 2%
Mike says:(1:47 PM)
dropping the 2%
Mike says:(1:48 PM)
the deuce
Sam says:(1:48 PM)
i 2% the bed
Jim says:(1:48 PM)
wow
listen to him scroll
that's a big muther fucking web page
Sam says:(1:49 PM)
its the bling thats annoying me now
Jim says:(1:49 PM)
hmmm, you're not going to be happy tomorrow then
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
erm....why
Jim says:(1:50 PM)
no reason
Sam says:(1:50 PM)
are you planning on wearing a huge bracelet?
Jim says:(1:51 PM)
didn't say that
Mike says:(1:51 PM)
is a cockring a bracelet?  technically?
Sam says:(1:52 PM)
imagination-going-wild
Mike says:(1:52 PM)
i can barely concentrate
Sam says:(1:53 PM)
i can't get Jim's cockring out of my head
Mike says:(1:53 PM)
on anything other than cockrings
Jim says:(1:53 PM)
concentrate....
Sam says:(1:54 PM)
Jim's cockring payment
focus
Mike says:(1:54 PM)
i know right... ok...lets do this without talking
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
omg. have we been talking
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
i've never anticipate typing cockrings more in my life
pated
Sam says:(1:55 PM)
more, yes
Jim says:(1:55 PM)
yes, pated
Mike says:(1:55 PM)
ok ok ok Lois whatever...I need to type cockrings...youre killing my comedic timing
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
hahaha
Sam says:(1:56 PM)
lol
Mike says:(1:56 PM)
oh fuck my liver hurts
or whatever that is
Jim says:(1:56 PM)
so now I pretty much have to get a cockring and bang it around on the desk.
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
rules is rules
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
can't argue with that
Mike says:(1:57 PM)
i see no other alternative
Sam says:(1:57 PM)
they will be like the department masks
we'll hang them on our desks
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
hahaha
"what's THAT"
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
and when they're not hanging on our desks, you'll know it's special day
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
"Oh, my Departmental cockring"
Sam says:(1:58 PM)
ok, bocce tourney, everyone put their cockrings on
Mike says:(1:58 PM)
dont have to tell me twice
Jim says:(1:58 PM)
god, and Larry isn't even involved in this msn
Mike says:(1:59 PM)
i know
MSN would catch fire
he'll read about it on the blog
Sam says:(2:00 PM)
he'll hear about it when Jim bangs his cockring on his desk tomorrow
Mike says:(2:01 PM)
well this certainly killed that super bored feeling I had
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
are you busy browsing for your ring now
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
i
fucking
dare you
Sam says:(2:02 PM)
http://www.cockrings.ca
Mike says:(2:02 PM)
so?  Jim?  safe?
Jim says:(2:02 PM)
www.python.com
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
yeah, it's safe
they only provide the best cockrings available in canada
3 year guarantee
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
for discolouration?
Sam says:(2:03 PM)
30 money back guarantee
Jim says:(2:03 PM)
batteries
Mike says:(2:03 PM)
your cockring takes batteries?!?
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
yours doesn't?
Mike says:(2:04 PM)
um
no, it does
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
110v cockring
Jim says:(2:04 PM)
hardcore
Sam says:(2:04 PM)
just when you think this convo is done

Oct 29, 2012

One track mind...


Sam says:
i was thinking "anal"
Mike says:
wha?

Jun 13, 2012

A-mazing!



*Dude walks into the office all confused*
Dude says:
It's like a maze down here!
Mike says: (12:55 PM)
its a square
Jim says: (12:55 PM)
well, that's a maze
technically
Mike says: (12:55 PM)
a really fucking easy one
Maze Level: 1


May 29, 2012

Wish Upon a Starr


Mike says:
see that?
planted a seed and now we're living in an episode of the View
Frank says:
lol
you need an overweight black chick tho...
Mike says:
do I ever
Frank says:
lol